The Time I Got Drunk And Taxi'd To Victory

This is an IRC chat log from 2001. For some reason it is very popular. I have archived it here for posterity even though it makes me look like a complete idiot. Please note I no longer talk like this, nor does anyone else. World War 2 Online still exists and I'm told is much improved.

[20:30] <@da_slog> LUm

[20:30] <@da_slog> server crashed

[20:30] <@Lum_> I’m playing ww2 offline

[20:30] <@Lum_> jesus this is bad

[20:30] <@Lum_> this is derek smart bad

[20:30] <@da_slog> need some tips?

[20:31] <@da_slog> Gameplay isnt that bad

[20:31] <@Lum_> how the fuck do I FIRE A GODDAM RIFLE

[20:31] <@da_slog> ok

[20:31] <@Lum_> Left shit to pull up my rifle

[20:31] <@Grant> Put your eye to the barrel…

[20:31] <@Lum_> Mouse button 2 to AIM my rifle

[20:31] haha

[20:31] <@Lum_> Mouse button 1 to Fire

[20:31] <@da_slog> right mouse to aim [20:31] <@da_slog> too

[20:31] <@Naivete> lum, hit ctrl-alt-shift-tab-scroll lock-tilde

[20:31] <@Lum_> WHLIE HOLDING LEFT SHIF AND MOUSE 1

[20:31] <@Rasputin> dernit

[20:31] <@Lum_> WHAT THE FUCK

[20:31] <@da_slog> yep

[20:31] That sounds overly complicated

[20:31] <@Naivete> roofle

[20:31] <@Lum_> DID ANYONE ACTUALLY PLAY THIS PIECE OF DOGSHIT

[20:31] <@da_slog> is supposed to be hard

[20:31] <@Lum_> fuck hard

[20:31] <@da_slog> oh

[20:31] <@Lum_> that’s DEREK SMART stupid

[20:31] <@da_slog> btw

[20:31] <@Rasputin> which piece of dogshit?

[20:32] <@Lum_> it’s JUST LIKE BATTLECRUISER 3000

[20:32] <@da_slog> to map keys

[20:32] <@da_slog> the keymap files are read onle

[20:32] <@Lum_> Pres Ctrl-Alt-F9 to steer left!

[20:32] <@da_slog> READ ONLY

[20:32] …

[20:32] <@Lum_> This is retarded

[20:32] <@Grant> roofle

[20:32] <@da_slog> you have to go in and change that

[20:32] <@Lum_> why the fuck do I need to dance with three keys TO FIRE A FUCKING GUN

[20:32] <@anarch> ctl alt f9

[20:32] <@da_slog> so you can map your own keys

[20:32] <@anarch> wtf?

[20:32] <@Lum_> Whatever happened to POINT AND SHOOT

[20:33] <@Lum_> IT IS FAIRLY BASIC CONCEPT

[20:33] <@PyroRaven> haha

[20:33] <@da_slog> it’s ghey

[20:33] but but but it’s REALISTIC

[20:33] <@da_slog> I agree

[20:33] <@Lum_> NO

[20:33] <@anarch> press space – 5 – f4 – pgup and num lock to move forward

[20:33] <@Lum_> I HAVE FIRED RIFLES IN REAL LIFE

[20:33] <@Lum_> I DID NOT HAVE AS MUCH PROBLEM DOING THIS

[20:33] <@Lum_> IT WAS REALLY QUITE EASY

[20:33] <@da_slog> there you go

[20:33] hahahah you’re slaying me

[20:33] <@Naivete> hahaha

[20:33] <@Mako> eheheh

[20:33] <@Eldin> LOL

[20:33] <@da_slog> wait till you drive a tank

[20:33] <@Lum_> this is fucked up

[20:33] <@Naivete> firing is easy. aiming is HARD.

[20:33] <@Lum_> I can’t believe they released this piece of shit

[20:33] <@da_slog> Lum any question for me so far?

[20:34] <@Lum_> I’m running around an empty field

[20:34] <@Naivete> is it worse than UO on release?

[20:34] <@Lum_> What the fuck am I doing

[20:34] <@Mako> WW2Online: Shoot yourself in the fucking face to continue.

[20:34] hahahahahaahah oh man this is classic Lum

[20:34] <@da_slog> Yes Stab

[20:34] <@Lum_> I passed a pigeon five minutes ago

[20:34] please write like that in your first look LOL

[20:34] <@da_slog> Lum, offline is ghey

[20:34] <@Lum_> I could not figure out how to shoot the pigeon

[20:34] <@Lum_> Slog

[20:34] <@Lum_> I WOULD PLAY ONLINE

[20:34] <@Lum_> EXCEPT I CANNOT

[20:34] <@da_slog> hehe

[20:34] <@Lum_> I think THAT is ghey

[20:34] <@Mako> does the pigeon..move?

[20:34] <@da_slog> ok go get a tank

[20:34] <@Lum_> no

[20:34] <@Lum_> the pigeon does not move

[20:34] <@Lum_> ok

[20:34] <@Lum_> how do I exit out to get a tank

[20:35] <@Naivete> is the pigeon a sprite?

[20:35] <@Lum_> yes the pigeon is a sprite

[20:35] <@Naivete> sweet

[20:35] <@Naivete> if you circle strafe it does it magically turn?

[20:35] <@Lum_> I CANNOT ESCAPE

[20:35] <@Lum_> I AM TRAPPED IN A FIELD

[20:35] <@Mako> ahahaha

[20:35] <@da_slog> Shift escape Lum

[20:35] <@Staberinde> Did you hit the ice grass?

[20:35] <@Mako> ‘trapped in a field online’

[20:35] <@PyroRaven> im loging all this

[20:35] <@PyroRaven> lol

[20:35] <@Naivete> that field is hiroshima, post bomb.

[20:35] <@Lum_> Where the fuck does it say shift escape

[20:35] <@da_slog> ERR Left-Shify Escape

[20:35] <@Lum_> It doesn’t say shift escape anywhere

[20:35] <@Lum_> OH

[20:35] <@da_slog> right shift won’t work

[20:35] <@Lum_> LEFT SHIFT escape

[20:35] <@Chum> hehe

[20:35] <@Staberinde> In the non-existent documentation

[20:35] <@Naivete> hahahaha

[20:35] <@da_slog> yep

[20:36] <@Lum_> no

[20:36] <@Naivete> this is great

[20:36] im choking im laughing so hard

[20:36] <@Lum_> WW2OL has plenty of docs

[20:36] <@Eldin> ROFL

[20:36] <@Staberinde> Ras: Naw, letting Philly whine is great

[20:36] <@Lum_> mostly nazi porn

[20:36] <@Naivete> me too

[20:36] <@Lum_> BIG PICTURES OF LUGERS

[20:36] <@da_slog> Lum did you uncheck the read only files?

[20:36] <@Staberinde> They shipped with Doctors Goebbels and Mengelev?

[20:36] <@Eldin> Reminds me of playing Falcon 3.0 years ago. Where the manual was like 400 pags

[20:36] <@Lum_> ok

[20:36] <@Lum_> now I am selecing a vehicle again

[20:36] Falcon 4 was like that too 🙂

[20:36] <@Lum_> I will take a PzKpfw 38(t)

[20:36] <@Lum_> that seems suitably militaristic

[20:36] <@da_slog> Lum did it take 10 minutes to load?

[20:36] <@Lum_> yes

[20:36] <@Naivete> PzKpfw 38)t)?

[20:36] <@da_slog> Light tank

[20:37] <@Staberinde> Heh the Czech tank

[20:37] <@Staberinde> that the Germans pressed into service

[20:37] <@Lum_> amd the progress bar was ghey

[20:37] <@Lum_> it was just a gif animation

[20:37] <@Lum_> it did not show any actual progress

[20:37] <@da_slog> it’s makes you wan’t to smash your Monitor

[20:37] <@da_slog> Lum

[20:37] <@Lum_> Oh jesus

[20:37] <@da_slog> hit numlock for FPS

[20:37] <@Naivete> ‘trapped in a field online’

[20:37] <@Mako> it’s looking like a ‘wait for shadowbane and star wars: galaxies’ moment

[20:37] <@Naivete> ROOFLE

[20:37] <@Lum_> I can see a TINY TINY TINY little window

[20:37] <@Mako> heheheh

[20:37] <@da_slog> ahh

[20:37] <@Lum_> FPS 23

[20:37] <@PyroRaven> i hope this works

[20:37] <@da_slog> ok

[20:37] lololol oh god

[20:38] <@da_slog> hold down E Lum

[20:38] <@Lum_> engine STARTED

[20:38] <@PyroRaven> ao

[20:38] <@Mako> 23..

[20:38] <@Lum_> I think

[20:38] <@Lum_> oh

[20:38] <@Mako> that’s not TOO offensive

[20:38] <@Lum_> I have to hold it down

[20:38] <@Mako> what’s your machine like, lum?

[20:38] <@Lum_> just pressing it doesn’t work

[20:38] <@Lum_> OK

[20:38] <@da_slog> you have to hold it down

[20:38] <@Lum_> I THINK I JUMP STARTED THE TANK

[20:38] <@da_slog> ROFL

[20:38] <@Eldin> lol

[20:38] <@da_slog> Lum press O

[20:38] <@Lum_> can I actually look out of my tank?

[20:38] <@PyroRaven> i cant wait to read this write up

[20:38] <@Staberinde> Do the nazi’s say “Mein Lieben!” when you run over them in your tank?

[20:38] <@da_slog> yes

[20:39] <@Lum_> I have like a 3 inch porthole

[20:39] <@Madman> no lum…in a real war you coulnd’t see out of at tank

[20:39] <@Rasputin> WWII Online Error

[20:39] <@Rasputin> ——————————————————————————–

[20:39] <@Rasputin> The WWII Online game server is down!

[20:39] <@Rasputin> Whee.

[20:39] <@da_slog> did you press o?

[20:39] <@Lum_> yes

[20:39] <@Rasputin> o.O

[20:39] <@Lum_> the window opened

[20:39] <@da_slog> no close the window

[20:39] <@Lum_> I can’t open the window?

[20:39] <@Lum_> WHY NOT

[20:39] <@Lum_> IT IS HOT IN MY TANK

[20:39] <@Staberinde> From the sounds of things looks like they went a bit too far with the realism aspect

[20:39] hhahahhahahahahhaahahhahahahah

[20:39] <@Naivete> hahaha

[20:39] <@da_slog> STFU AND CLOSE THE WINDOW

[20:39] *** Thundy|EQ is now known as Thundolfe

[20:39] <@StackedMidgets> What?

[20:39] <@Madman> haha

[20:39] <@Lum_> ok

[20:39] <@Lum_> I closed the window

[20:39] <@da_slog> can you see binocolars?

[20:39] <@Naivete> you will roast like a pig in the oven, just like the REAL soldiers.

[20:40] <@da_slog> in front of you?

[20:40] <@da_slog> like a periscope?

[20:40] <@Soulflame> heh

[20:40] <@Lum_> uh no

[20:40] <@Grant> >_<

[20:40] <@Madman> why they hell would they have binoculars in a fucking tanks?

[20:40] <@Lum_> oh shit

[20:40] <@Lum_> I turned off my engine

[20:40] <@Lum_> MY TANK DIED

[20:40] .. hahahah

[20:40] <@Mako> fpffhffphffphfpfhff

[20:40] <@da_slog> dumbass

[20:40] <@Lum_> ok it’s back

[20:40] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[20:40] <@Staberinde> Sure it wasn’t Polish Partisans Lum?

[20:40] <@Madman> you ran out of gas lum

[20:40] <@Lum_> where’s the binoculars

[20:40] <@da_slog> ok lock down the tank

[20:40] oh man im dying

[20:40] <@da_slog> pressing O

[20:40] <@Madman> LOCK DOWN LOCK DOWN!

[20:40] <@Lum_> THE WINDOW IS CLOSED

[20:40] <@Lum_> I GOT THAT PART

[20:40] <@da_slog> ok

[20:40] <@Mako> you on two computers, lum?

[20:40] <@PyroRaven> lockdown the tank?

[20:40] <@Eldin> WWII has housing?

[20:41] <@PyroRaven> *i wish to lock this down*

[20:41] <@Lum_> no one will steal my tank!

[20:41] HAHaH

[20:41] <@Lum_> it is LOCKED baby

[20:41] <@da_slog> press the period key on the numlock pad

[20:41] <@Lum_> WOW

[20:41] <@Lum_> I CAN SEE

[20:41] <@Madman> haha

[20:41] <@Mako> UNEXPLODED ARTILLERY SHELL HOUSE BREAKIN EXPLOIT

[20:41] <@da_slog> You are in German tank right?

[20:41] <@Lum_> I CAN SEE SHIT

[20:41] <@Lum_> yeah

[20:41] <@Lum_> pzk38t or some shit

[20:41] <@da_slog> Press it again

[20:41] <@Madman> why do you need to see? you are in a big metal tank…just drive around and run shit over

[20:41] <@PyroRaven> If some one trys to steal you tank lum ask them to teach you how to drive it

[20:41] <@Lum_> I can’t see shit any more

[20:41] <@da_slog> Allied tanks don’t have the periscope

[20:41] <@Lum_> I’m back in my hot and stuffy tank

[20:41] <@da_slog> press it again

[20:41] <@Lum_> cool

[20:41] <@da_slog> ok

[20:41] <@Lum_> the outside world exists

[20:41] <@da_slog> now press 2

[20:41] <@Mako> heheheh

[20:41] <@da_slog> not on the numpad

[20:41] <@Lum_> I no longer can see shit

[20:42] <@Lum_> What

[20:42] <@da_slog> press o

[20:42] <@Mako> i can see lum driving around outside his tank because he can’t see from inside

[20:42] <@Naivete> hahahaha

[20:42] <@Lum_> YOU DIDNT SAY PRESS 2 NOT ON THE NUMPAD

[20:42] <@da_slog> Press O

[20:42] <@Mako> and getting taken out by some noob with a pistol

[20:42] <@Lum_> I PRESSED THE NUMPAD

[20:42] <@da_slog> lol

[20:42] <@Lum_> ok

[20:42] <@da_slog> yes I did

[20:42] <@Lum_> I pressed 2 not on the numpad

[20:42] <@Madman> why the hell would they make this so difficult?

[20:42] <@Lum_> now I see, um, steel and shit

[20:42] <@Lum_> it looks like a piece of steel

[20:42] <@da_slog> press O

[20:42] <@StackedMidgets> kill it

[20:42] <@Naivete> that’s the view of the inside of your tank.

[20:42] <@Lum_> the letter o?

[20:42] <@da_slog> yes

[20:42] <@da_slog> You have a joystick right?

[20:42] <@Lum_> Wow, I’m looking out of my tank

[20:42] <@Madman> how lum…how does it feel to have 10 tons of steel between your legs?

[20:42] <@Lum_> yes

[20:43] <@Lum_> I don’t knw if it’s hooked up

[20:43] <@Staberinde> Lum: cast magic missile at the darkness

[20:43] <@da_slog> you can play without it Lum

[20:43] <@da_slog> err CANT

[20:43] <@Lum_> I CAST MAGIC HIGH EXPLOSIVE ROUND AT THE DARKNESS

[20:43] This is a log for the ages

[20:43] <@Lum_> why the fuck do I need a joystick to drive a tank

[20:43] <@Lum_> is it too good for arrow keys?

[20:43] <@Eldin> ROFL

[20:43] <@Naivete> because that’s how the real czec soldiers did it.

[20:43] <@Lum_> CAN I GET OUT OF MY TANK?

[20:43] <@da_slog> BECAUSE THEY HAD JOYSTICKS IN WWII BIZNATCHIO

[20:43] <@da_slog> NO

[20:43] <@Lum_> Did the real czech soldiers have Windows ME?

[20:43] <@Naivete> yes lum

[20:43] <@Lum_> I want to get out of my tank

[20:43] <@Madman> hehe

[20:43] <@Lum_> it looks cool outside

[20:43] <@da_slog> NO LINUX

[20:44] <@Naivete> they recieved it on a cd found on the wolfenstein guy’s corpse.

[20:44] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[20:44] <@Grant> Nah, that was WinXP.

[20:44] <@Lum_> my tank is hot because YOU MADE ME CLOSE THE WINDOW

[20:44] <@Naivete> that’s what you get for corrupting the timeline.

[20:44] <@Staberinde> Does this mean the French in WW2 were running WarpOS?

[20:44] <@da_slog> IF you had a JOYSTICK

[20:44] <@da_slog> YOU COULD PLAY

[20:44] <@StackedMidgets> WinME was hidden in a nazi agent’s ass

[20:44] <@Lum_> let me see if I can plug in my joystick

[20:44] <@Lum_> HOLD ON

[20:44] <@Naivete> this game sounds so excelent

[20:44] <@Lum_> let me go crawl around my tank and FIND THE JOYSTICK PORT

[20:44] <@Madman> haha

[20:44] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[20:44] <@Eldin> lol

[20:44] <@Staberinde> Well on the plus side at least they didn’t add the naval portion

[20:44] <@da_slog> lol my face hurts from laughing so hard

[20:44] hahaha

[20:45] <@Staberinde> I can just imagine Lum steaming a Cruiser up the Thames and shelling Birimingham palace

[20:45] <@Staberinde> as a Brit

[20:45] <@Madman> haha…careful lum…someone might tankjack you

[20:45] <@Soulflame> …

[20:45] <@StackedMidgets> hehe

[20:45] <@StackedMidgets> like UO boat stealing

[20:45] <@Naivete> tank jack you IN OFFLINE MODE.

[20:45] <@Soulflame> this should provide DAYS of entertainment.

[20:45] <@Madman> slog has been drinking!

[20:45] <@StackedMidgets> Trammel boat pirates

[20:45] <@Staberinde> Avast maties, there be PeeKays on the starboard… oh wait wrong game update

[20:46] <@da_slog> hehe

[20:46] <@Naivete> avast…uhm…nazis.

[20:46] <@Lum_> OK

[20:46] <@Madman> hehe

[20:46] <@Lum_> I plugged in my joystic

[20:46] <@Lum_> and I got thrown back into my tank

[20:46] <@Eldin> I suppose I can switch over

[20:46] <@da_slog> ok

[20:46] <@da_slog> press 2 again

[20:47] <@StackedMidgets> tank drill instructer slog

[20:47] <@da_slog> and move the joystick left and right

[20:47] <@Lum_> ok I pressed 2

[20:47] <@Lum_> I’m not moving

[20:47] <@Lum_> DO I HAVE TO QUIT TO GET THE JOYSTICK TO WORK

[20:47] <@Lum_> PLEASE GOD SAY NO

[20:47] hahahaha

[20:47] <@Madman> haha

[20:47] <@da_slog> I have no clue

[20:47] <@StackedMidgets> hehe

[20:47] <@PyroRaven> hahah

[20:47] <@Naivete> rub a dub dub

[20:47] <@Madman> what? you don’t want to watch all the intro movies again lum?

[20:47] <@PyroRaven> 10more min of film for you

[20:47] <@PyroRaven> !!

[20:47] <@StackedMidgets> roofle owned scrub

[20:47] <@StackedMidgets> hdhehehe

[20:47] <@da_slog> I had my joystick plugged already

[20:47] Please say you are taking screens of this haha

[20:47] <@Lum_> ok

[20:47] <@Lum_> I’m quitting out

[20:47] <@StackedMidgets> cinematic excellence

[20:47] <@Lum_> and now my pc is rebooting

[20:47] <@da_slog> maybe if you install the joystick?

[20:47] (for the children)

[20:47] <@Staberinde> I am sooooo glad I didn’t buy this game

[20:47] <@Lum_> which means I lost my PATCH DOWNLOAD

[20:48] <@Naivete> hahahaha

[20:48] <@StackedMidgets> OWNNNEED

[20:48] <@Lum_> which was 35MB

[20:48] <@Madman> ouch

[20:48] <@Soulflame> dude

[20:48] <@Eldin> Nothin but love

[20:48] <@Naivete> this game is SOOO EXCELENT.

[20:48] <@Lum_> my joystick is installed

[20:48] <@Eldin> I’m going to get my copy RIGHT NOW

[20:48] <@Lum_> it was just unplugged

[20:48] <@Lum_> OK.hmsk

[20:48] <@Lum_> let me get the patch download started

[20:48] <@Lum_> AGAIN

[20:48] <@da_slog> ok can you move around now?

[20:48] <@Lum_> BECAUSE JESUS FUCK I WANT TO PLAY THIS ONLINE

[20:48] <@Lum_> I CANNOT WAIT TO PRESS 12 KEYS TO FIRE A BULLET

[20:48] <@Eldin> I can see it now

[20:48] <@Madman> are you sure?

[20:48] <@Naivete> lum, how many fps are you getting dude?

[20:49] <@Lum_> 22

[20:49] <@StackedMidgets> it’s offline mode

[20:49] <@Naivete> sweet

[20:49] <@Eldin> Hundreds of players, in a field, in tanks, and not moving.

[20:49] <@Lum_> but I was not actually moving

[20:49] <@Mako> heheh

[20:49] <@da_slog> it gets decent FPS offline

[20:49] <@Staberinde> For some reason I just have this mental image of Lum’s monkey and Bob Dole driving a panzer around Belgium not knowing how to shoot

[20:49] <@Mako> wait till you get a hundred other tanks in there, lum

[20:49] <@Mako> FPS 3

[20:49] <@StackedMidgets> Slog, in online mode, do you get crap FPS in infantry mode?

[20:49] <@Naivete> hahaha staber

[20:49] <@Naivete> and the monkey keeps trying to get the window open.

[20:49] <@StackedMidgets> hehe

[20:49] <@da_slog> Stacked, WTF plays infantry?

[20:50] <@Lum_> Can I open the window in my tank yet?

[20:50] <@Madman> I would play infantry

[20:50] <@Lum_> I tried to play infantry

[20:50] <@Lum_> IT WAS TOO HARD

[20:50] <@Naivete> 3 to 1 says tomorrow we see a story on ltm about the CRS guys commiting mass suicide.

[20:50] <@Lum_> I COULD NOT ACTUALLY FIRE A RIFLE

[20:50] <@da_slog> let me explain something

[20:50] The Rantings of

[20:50] <@Lum_> IT WAS BEYOND ME

[20:50] <@Naivete> the entire dev studio KILLS THEMSELVES IN AN ORGY OF FLAMES.

[20:50] <@Madman> MY PIKE AGAINST YOUR TANK!

[20:50] <@da_slog> GUYS

[20:50] <@PyroRaven> pike lol

[20:50] <@da_slog> STFU

[20:51] <@da_slog> Lum

[20:51] <@da_slog> when in a tank

[20:51] <@PyroRaven> i would +m the room but we are all op’s

[20:51] <@da_slog> the numbers represent the position in the tank

[20:51] <@da_slog> 1 = driver

[20:51] <@da_slog> 2 = commander

[20:51] <@da_slog> 3 = gunner

[20:51] <@Lum_> but not the numpad numbers

[20:51] <@da_slog> 4 = another gunner

[20:51] <@Lum_> THOSE NUMBERS ARE BAD

[20:51] <@da_slog> right

[20:52] <@da_slog> NUMPAD IS FOR VIEWS IN AIRPLANE

[20:52] um yes

[20:52] <@da_slog> Tanks can Fly

[20:52] <@Lum_> Tanks can FLY?

[20:52] <@da_slog> at least they do online

[20:52] *** Staberinde is now known as Georgi_Zhukov

[20:52] <@Lum_> I wish they had a real progress bar

[20:52] <@da_slog> but they do

[20:53] <@Lum_> It is just flashing “loading”

[20:53] <@da_slog> Lum

[20:53] <@da_slog> you can launch it

[20:53] <@da_slog> take a piss

[20:53] <@da_slog> get a beetr

[20:53] <@da_slog> beer

[20:53] <@da_slog> walk the dog

[20:53] <@da_slog> and come back

[20:53] <@Lum_> I don’t think I have ever seen any game take this long to load

[20:53] <@da_slog> and it will have loaded

[20:53] <@Lum_> What is it doing in there

[20:53] <@da_slog> Formatting your hard drive

[20:54] <@Lum_> WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO LAUNCH A TANK I CANNOT DRIVE

[20:54] <@Lum_> GAMES WITH TANKS I CAN DRIVE LAUNCH MUCH FASTER

[20:54] <@da_slog> You have over 500 MEG RIGHT?

[20:54] <@Lum_> yeah

[20:54] <@PyroRaven> Did you patch lum?

[20:54] <@Lum_> gigabytes and gigabytes of HD space

[20:54] <@PyroRaven> k

[20:54] <@Lum_> no

[20:54] <@da_slog> not HD

[20:54] <@Lum_> I am still patching

[20:54] <@Lum_> OK

[20:54] <@da_slog> memory

[20:54] <@Lum_> I want to drive a french tank

[20:54] <@Lum_> 128mb ram

[20:54] <@da_slog> ohh that’s bad

[20:55] <@da_slog> you need more

[20:55] <@Lum_> CHAR B1 BIS

[20:55] <@da_slog> at least 256 more

[20:55] <@Lum_> THAT SOUNDS FRENCH

[20:55] <@Lum_> no

[20:55] <@Lum_> 128 mb is enough

[20:55] <@Lum_> it’s fucking enough for microsoft dev studio

[20:55] <@da_slog> NO IT ISNT STFU NEWB

[20:55] <@Lum_> I think it’s enough for my TANK GAME

[20:55] <@Mako> oh god

[20:55] <@Mako> try to fly

[20:55] <@Mako> i DARE you

[20:55] <@Lum_> ok

[20:55] <@Lum_> I am launching my french tank

[20:55] <@Lum_> but the loading screen still has german guys

[20:55] <@StackedMidgets> VIVE LA FRANCE

[20:55] <@da_slog> hehe

[20:55] <@Lum_> OK

[20:56] <@Lum_> I AM IN MY FRENCHIE TANK

[20:56] <@da_slog> it always does

[20:56] <@da_slog> ok press E

[20:56] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Heh the Char B1 is the one with the maingun that DOESN’T ROTATE

[20:56] <@Lum_> LET ME KICKSTART MY ENGINE

[20:56] <@da_slog> Frenchie tank doesn’t have periscope

[20:56] <@Lum_> ENGINE KICKSTARTED

[20:56] <@Lum_> NOW LET ME CLOSE MY FUCKING WINDOW

[20:56] <@da_slog> so you can see out very well

[20:56] <@da_slog> NO

[20:56] <@da_slog> don’t

[20:56] <@Lum_> BECAUSE JESUS GOD I BETTER CLOSE THE WINDOW

[20:56] <@PyroRaven> why cloese the window?

[20:56] <@Lum_> ok

[20:56] <@da_slog> Fenchie tank

[20:56] <@Lum_> I’m not closing the window

[20:56] <@da_slog> you can’t see out

[20:56] <@da_slog> press period

[20:56] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[20:56] <@Lum_> ok

[20:56] <@StackedMidgets> lum doesn’t want to see the horrors of offline war

[20:56] <@Lum_> I’m peering out the hatch

[20:56] <@da_slog> that’s the best view you get

[20:57] <@Lum_> THAT IS FINE

[20:57] <@Lum_> I AM FRENCH

[20:57] <@Lum_> WAR SCARES ME

[20:57] <@da_slog> for position 1

[20:57] <@da_slog> ok press “]”

[20:57] <@da_slog> and PRESS the TILDE KEY TOO

[20:57] <@Lum_> hang on

[20:57] <@Lum_> HANG ON

[20:57] <@Lum_> trying to work my joystick

[20:58] <@Lum_> you know this is quite possibly the worst game in the history of man

[20:58] <@StackedMidgets> Lum

[20:58] <@da_slog> IT’S REALISTIC LUM

[20:58] slog quick, what is your CPU speed/vidcard again?

[20:58] <@Lum_> yes

[20:58] <@StackedMidgets> it’s not as bad as MDK2

[20:58] <@Lum_> it is NOT REALISTIC

[20:58] <@da_slog> REALISM IS IMPORTANT

[20:58] <@Lum_> IN REAL LIFE I CAN FIRE A RIFLE

[20:58] <@da_slog> JUST ASK BRAD MCQUAID

[20:59] <@Naivete> yes lum, but in real life you aren’t a soldier. you see, there has to be game balance between RL and the game.

[20:59] <@da_slog> OK DID YOU GET THE TANK TO MOVE?

[20:59] <@PyroRaven> umm, its worse then dikata

[20:59] <@PyroRaven> or what ever

[20:59] <@Lum_> OK

[20:59] <@Lum_> I am in 3rd gear

[20:59] <@Lum_> I AM MOVING NOW

[20:59] <@Mako> lapowihgpo2ai3hpoihapsg

[20:59] <@Lum_> WATCH OUT NAZIS

[20:59] <@da_slog> woot

[20:59] <@Mako> they make you SHIFT GEARS?

[20:59] <@da_slog> yes Mako

[20:59] <@Lum_> my joystick isn’t working

[20:59] <@Lum_> it’s working in windows

[20:59] <@StackedMidgets> wtf

[20:59] <@da_slog> yes it is

[20:59] <@Lum_> but not here

[20:59] <@Lum_> it is?

[20:59] <@da_slog> you are moving

[20:59] <@Lum_> why am I not turning

[21:00] <@StackedMidgets> french tanks can’t turn

[21:00] <@da_slog> is the enging reving?

[21:00] <@Lum_> are RIGHT TURNS beyond french technology?

[21:00] you have to hold control alt delete to turn!

[21:00] <@Lum_> yes the engine is reving

[21:00] <@StackedMidgets> is it one of those wood-burning french engines?

[21:00] <@Lum_> IT IS NOT TURNING

[21:00] <@Eldin> Wonder if GEAR would help

[21:00] <@Lum_> I AM GOING IN A STRAIGHT LINE

[21:00] <@da_slog> put joystick in upper left

[21:00] <@Naivete> hahaha

[21:00] <@Lum_> how do I fire my gun

[21:00] <@Naivete> yes lum, use gear.

[21:00] <@da_slog> GUN?

[21:00] <@Lum_> nothing

[21:00] <@Lum_> oh shit

[21:00] <@Lum_> my engine died

[21:00] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:00] <@Lum_> no

[21:00] <@Lum_> NO

[21:01] <@Lum_> I AM TURNING

[21:01] <@da_slog> WOOT

[21:01] HAHAHA

[21:01] <@StackedMidgets> IT’S A MIRACLE

[21:01] * @Naivete cheers.

[21:01] <@da_slog> you joystick works

[21:01] <@Lum_> DEAR GOD I AM TURNING

[21:01] <@Lum_> how do I stop turning

[21:01] <@Lum_> ok

[21:01] <@Lum_> I stopped

[21:01] <@Naivete> can you stop turning?

[21:01] <@Naivete> hahaha

[21:01] <@da_slog> ok press 2

[21:01] <@Lum_> I’m not moving now

[21:01] <@da_slog> lets try this again

[21:01] <@StackedMidgets> think a happy little thought

[21:01] <@Lum_> I pressed 2

[21:01] <@Lum_> I see NOTHING

[21:01] <@da_slog> press O

[21:01] <@Lum_> it’s like a gray screen

[21:01] <@Lum_> Oh that is GHEY

[21:01] <@da_slog> did and spin around

[21:01] <@Lum_> I see a little tiny tiny window

[21:02] <@da_slog> that’s the commander’s view

[21:02] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[21:02] <@da_slog> ok now press 3

[21:02] <@Lum_> well NO WONDER THE FRENCH LOST

[21:02] <@Lum_> hey

[21:02] <@StackedMidgets> hehehe

[21:02] <@Lum_> I see, um, gear shifts.

[21:02] <@Eldin> lol

[21:02] <@da_slog> press button 1

[21:02] <@Lum_> HOW DO I FIRE THE FUCKING GUN

[21:02] <@StackedMidgets> the commander just uses his IMAGINATION

[21:02] <@da_slog> did it fire?

[21:02] <@Eldin> It’s like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

[21:02] <@Lum_> no

[21:02] <@Lum_> nothing happened

[21:02] <@da_slog> ok press 4

[21:02] <@StackedMidgets> did you notice the highly accurate muzzle velocity?

[21:02] <@Lum_> ok i SEE A CLOCK

[21:03] <@Lum_> Well maybe it’s a dial of some sort

[21:03] <@da_slog> ok press period key on numpad

[21:03] <@Lum_> it’s not labeled or anything

[21:03] <@StackedMidgets> it’s decoration

[21:03] <@da_slog> you get a gunsite?

[21:03] <@Lum_>  no

[21:03] <@da_slog> shit

[21:03] <@Chum> did you make gunpowder? Stuff it in a metal casing? prep it? Then load it into the barrel?

[21:03] <@da_slog> press 3

[21:03] <@Lum_> I am in a pacifist tank

[21:03] <@da_slog> then press the period key

[21:03] <@Madman> well you are french lum

[21:03] <@Lum_> we don’t believe in shooting things

[21:03] haha

[21:03] <@Lum_> I see a gunsight now

[21:04] <@da_slog> WOOT

[21:04] <@Madman> FIRE!

[21:04] <@Madman> FIRE IN THE HOLE!

[21:04] <@da_slog> and whatnot

[21:04] <@Lum_> I pressed the joystick button

[21:04]  KILL@(*&@*(&%*@)^@)(*

[21:04] <@Lum_> nothing happened

[21:04] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Fire your cannon at the emptiness

[21:04] <@StackedMidgets> use french children for target practice

[21:04] <@Georgi_Zhukov> kill the spritely pigeons

[21:04] <@da_slog> can you move the gunsight around?

[21:04] <@Madman> of course the joystick button won’t fire the gun

[21:04] <@DeepT> Attack the darkness with your magic missiles

[21:04] <@Lum_> no

[21:04] <@Madman> that would make too much sense lum

[21:04] <@da_slog> is your tank running?

[21:04] <@Lum_> yes

[21:04] <@Lum_> I think

[21:04] <@Lum_> the engine is making noise

[21:04] <@da_slog> you can hear it idleing

[21:04] <@Lum_> THIS IS HARD

[21:04] THEN YOU HAD BETTER CATCH

[21:04] <@Georgi_Zhukov> You probably have to press 12 different buttons to fire

[21:04] <@Lum_> IS DRIVING REAL TANKS THIS HARD?

[21:05] <@da_slog> YES

[21:05] <@Madman> YES!

[21:05] <@StackedMidgets> that’s not the engine, those are french children trying to sabatoge your tank

[21:05] <@da_slog> IT REALLY IS

[21:05] <@Lum_> then how did we ever kick Iraq’s ass

[21:05] <@Lum_> I like really respect the military now

[21:05] <@da_slog> YOU SURE YOUR JOYSTICK WORKS?

[21:05] <@Lum_> YES

[21:05] <@StackedMidgets> we ran them over

[21:05] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Our tanks were powered by Nintendo

[21:05] <@Eldin> Oh, tanks nowadays are like Nintendo

[21:05] <@Lum_> IT TURNED BEFORE

[21:05] <@Lum_> oh crap

[21:05] <@StackedMidgets> Eldin – BATTLETANX

[21:05] <@Lum_> I crashed

[21:05] <@da_slog> IRAQ HAD TANKS TOO

[21:05] <@Madman> because we have better training than WWIIOL

[21:05] <@Lum_> I REBOOTED AGAIN

[21:05] <@Eldin> lol, that was scary

[21:05] <@da_slog> ROFL

[21:05] <@Georgi_Zhukov> IRAQ HAD SOVIET TANKS SLOG

[21:05] <@Madman> haha

[21:05] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:05] <@StackedMidgets> WWIIOL owns

[21:05] hahahahhahahahahaha

[21:05] <@StackedMidgets> I saw want this game

[21:06] <@StackedMidgets> err so

[21:06] <@da_slog> Soviet TANKS ARE HARD To DRIVE TOO

[21:06] <@Lum_> Ok

[21:06] <@Lum_> I wanna drive a pickup truck

[21:06] <@Georgi_Zhukov> NO THEY’RE NOT.  THE FRIENDLY US APACHES BLOW THEM UP BEFORE YOU TURN ON THE ENGINE.

[21:06] <@Lum_> HOW HARD CAN THAT BE

[21:06]  This is by far as hard as I have laughed in a month. I suppose in that regard, WWIIOL is a complete success

[21:06] <@da_slog> beats me

[21:06] <@Madman> THAT IS HARDER TO DRIVE THAN A TANK!

[21:06] <@da_slog> they don’t much

[21:06] <@Lum_> I WANT TO TOOL AROUND THE WASTED BADLANDS OF BELGIUM IN A PICKUP TRUCK

[21:06] <@da_slog> they just tow shit around

[21:06] <@da_slog> and transport troops

[21:06] <@StackedMidgets> haha

[21:06] <@Lum_> I CAN DO THIS

[21:06] <@Lum_> firing guns = HARD

[21:06] <@da_slog> no

[21:07] <@Lum_> driving tank = HARD

[21:07] <@Eldin> I bet flying a plane would be easy. . .

[21:07] <@da_slog> you can’t transport troops offline

[21:07] <@Lum_> firing tank guns = LUM CANNOT DO

[21:07] <@StackedMidgets> while people are just pressing 20 buttons to shoot their rifles at you, you can run them over with your chevy

[21:07] <@Lum_> let’s try a plane

[21:07] <@da_slog> NO PLEASE NO

[21:07] <@Lum_> I wish I didn’t have to sit through this movie every time

[21:07] <@Lum_> OK

[21:07] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:07] <@PyroRaven> great

[21:07] <@Lum_> WE ARE LOADING AGAIN

[21:07] <@da_slog> DO WE HAVE TOO FLY THE PLANE?

[21:07] haha YES

[21:07] <@Soulflame> hahaha

[21:07] <@Madman> YOU WILL BEGIN TO LOVE THE MOVIE!

[21:07] <@Lum_> slog

[21:07] <@Soulflame> ^^

[21:07] <@da_slog> ya?

[21:07] <@Lum_> you don’t know how to fly the plane

[21:07] <@Lum_> do you

[21:07] WWIIOL sux! C U IN 1942 ONLINE N00B

[21:07] <@Madman> hehe

[21:07] <@da_slog> I do too

[21:08] <@Lum_> ALL RIGHTY THEN

[21:08] <@PyroRaven> you close the window!

[21:08] <@Madman> oh yeah slog? prove it!

[21:08] <@Lum_> WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF

[21:08] <@PyroRaven> prese 5

[21:08] <@da_slog> lol

[21:08] <@PyroRaven> Then shit s

[21:08] <@PyroRaven> shift

[21:08] <@Soulflame> ROOFLE 1942 OL will roxor j00 411!!!!111

[21:08] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Lum: divebomb the eiffel tower in your Stuka

[21:08] <@StackedMidgets> press ctrl+d

[21:08] <@da_slog> ok let me know when you are ready

[21:08] <@Eldin> “I can’t turn. . . I think I may be flying over the Anarctic. .  .”

[21:08] <@Lum_> ok

[21:08] <@StackedMidgets> to bookmark enemy targets

[21:08] <@Lum_> it is eternally loading again

[21:08] <@Lum_> you know

[21:08] <@Madman> hey where are the japanse in WWIIOL?

[21:08] <@Lum_> it takes me much less time to load windows

[21:08] <@StackedMidgets> the longest loading time…

[21:08] not yet

[21:08] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Dusk of 1942:Dawn of 1943 Tactics Online is sooooo going to own you!

[21:08] <@Lum_> this game is more complicated then windows

[21:08] <@PyroRaven> To take off you hold ctrl and hit f4

[21:08] WW2OL is an OS in itself apparently

[21:08] <@da_slog> no japs yet Madman

[21:08] I SHOOTS TEH GUNS!!11

[21:09] <@Lum_> I CANT

[21:09] <@Soulflame> Note:  The Japanese will not be available in the released version.

[21:09] <@Madman> why don’t you reboot after you patch lum…then you wont’ have to redownload will you?

[21:09] <@Lum_> I CANT SHOOT ANY GUNS

[21:09] LOL

[21:09] <@Lum_> IT MAKES ME FEEL INADEQUATE

[21:09] <@StackedMidgets> doesn’t this make you so much more appreciative of the sacrafices our forefathers made?

[21:09] <@StackedMidgets> or maybe this exposes the truth

[21:09] <@StackedMidgets> none of the fuckers ever figured out how to shoot any guns, and they just played it out with dodgeball

[21:09] <@Georgi_Zhukov> IF A BLUNDERBUS HAD 47 SEPERATE KEY-COMBINATIONS YOU HAD TO PRESS TO FIRE IT THE PILGRIMS WOULD BE WORMFOOD RIGHT NOW.

[21:09] <@Eldin> I bet Ben Afflek had no problem driving the tanks. . .

[21:09] <@Madman> lum…the tank between your legs should stop you from feeling inadequate

[21:10] <@da_slog> what kind of plane Lum?

[21:10] <@Madman> tom hanks had no problem firing a gun in WWII

[21:10] <@Lum_> fuck if I know

[21:10] <@Lum_> it’s still loading

[21:10] Yeah I bet Hermann was like “Ach! I would shoot down this here Spitfire if only my control stick would work! Pigs!”

[21:10] <@StackedMidgets> PLUG UND PLAY!!! 

[21:10] <@da_slog> My dogs thinks I am insane

[21:10] <@Georgi_Zhukov> you are

[21:10] <@PyroRaven> Thoes are not dogs

[21:10] I would oncur

[21:10] concur

[21:10] <@da_slog> I;m laughing so much

[21:10] <@Madman> hehe pyro

[21:10] <@StackedMidgets> totally man

[21:11] <@PyroRaven> they are large furry rats

[21:11] <@PyroRaven> not dogs

[21:11] <@Lum_> you know

[21:11] <@Lum_> this should not take this long

[21:11] <@Lum_> sometihng is very wrong with this game

[21:11] <@Madman> lum…maybe futuristic games aren’t for you…

[21:11] <@da_slog> well…….yeah

[21:11] <@Lum_> OK

[21:11] <@Madman> you should still to fantasy

[21:11] <@Lum_> I AM AT A SELECT SCREEN

[21:11] <@PyroRaven> You dont have any meditris to play!

[21:11] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Back to Stone Age:Online

[21:11] <@Lum_> I AM GOING TO BOARD

[21:11] <@StackedMidgets> hehe

[21:11] <@Lum_> A STUUUUUKA

[21:11] <@da_slog> I get less than 1 FPS in Air combat

[21:11] <@da_slog> NO

[21:11] <@PyroRaven> hahaha

[21:11] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:11] <@PyroRaven> tolate

[21:11] <@StackedMidgets> hahaha

[21:11] <@Madman> YES STUUUUUUUUUUUKAAA!

[21:12] <@Eldin> LOL

[21:12] <@da_slog> BOMBERS ARE UNFAIR TO SOME

[21:12] <@Lum_> JU87B-2!

[21:12] “You see: a bumpy club [3/6/1/5]”

[21:12] <@StackedMidgets> HE’S MADE IT THIS FAR HE’S NOT TURNING BACK

[21:12] <@Eldin> I’d like to see Chuck Yeagher online. I loved that game

[21:12] <@PyroRaven> be a man take the stuka!

[21:12] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Nazi’s had B-2’s?

[21:12] <@Georgi_Zhukov> r0xx0r

[21:12] * @da_slog searches for Bomber instructions

[21:12] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[21:12] <@Madman> IF YOU TAKE THE BOMBER YOU CAN DROP KITTY BOMBS!

[21:12] <@StackedMidgets> did they ship with a manual?

[21:12] <@Lum_> OK

[21:12] <@Lum_> I AM FOLLOWING THE RULE BOOK NOW

[21:12] <@PyroRaven> you cant fire any guns but mabie you can drop bombs

[21:12] *** da_slog is now known as AIRtrafficControl

[21:12] <@Lum_> STEP 1

[21:12] <@Lum_> LOCK THE TAIL WHEEL

[21:13] <@Lum_> CHECK

[21:13] <@AIRtrafficControl> YEP

[21:13] <@Madman> hehe slog

[21:13] tears

[21:13] <@Lum_> STEP TWO

[21:13] <@Eldin> LOL

[21:13] * @StackedMidgets dies

[21:13] im crying haha

[21:13] <@Lum_> HOLD DOWN RIGHT AND LEFT WHEEL BRAKES

[21:13] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Do not talk about Fight Club?

[21:13] <@AIRtrafficControl> UM NO

[21:13] <@Lum_> no?

[21:13] <@AIRtrafficControl> TURN THE ENGINE ON

[21:13] <@Lum_> it says to

[21:13] <@PyroRaven> i wounder if any one is going to make a wwIIassist to speed this up

[21:13] <@Lum_> NOW I AM SUPPOSED TO SAY CLEAR

[21:13] <@Lum_> HOW DO I SAY CLEAR

[21:13] <@PyroRaven> yell to loh clear

[21:13] <@AIRtrafficControl> enter to chat

[21:13] <@Madman> what the hell does air traffic control know?

[21:13] <@StackedMidgets> DON’T LISTEN AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL HAS BEEN TAKEN CONTROL BY TERRORISTS

[21:13] wwIIassist needs a “STOP SUCKING” button apparently

[21:13] <@Madman> haha

[21:13] <@Madman> CLEAR!

[21:13] <@Lum_> I SAID CLEAR

[21:13] <@AIRtrafficControl> there is a caps lock bug though

[21:14] <@Lum_> yeah

[21:14] <@AIRtrafficControl> Engine on?

[21:14] <@Lum_> it was in all caps

[21:14] <@Chum> lol

[21:14] <@Lum_> no

[21:14] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Does LumAssist support WWIIOnline?

[21:14] <@Lum_> it didn’t say to turn on the engine

[21:14] <@Lum_> ok

[21:14] <@Lum_> now it does

[21:14] *** AIRtrafficControl is now known as DA_SLOG

[21:14] <@DA_SLOG> ok

[21:14] <@Lum_> ok

[21:14] <@Lum_> engine ON

[21:14] <@Rasputin> ><

[21:14] <@Lum_> propellor thingy moving

[21:14] <@Madman> heh…apparently slog has the same caps lock bug

[21:14] <@Lum_> we’re COOKIN WITH GAS

[21:14] <@Rasputin> THIS GAME IS TEH SUX

[21:14] <@Lum_> READY TO BOMB THE HELL OUT OF FRANCE

[21:14] <@DA_SLOG> press the ‘ key

[21:14] <@DA_SLOG> twice

[21:14] <@Madman> actually plane fuel isn’t really gas

[21:14] <@Lum_> max rpm SET

[21:14] <@DA_SLOG> woot

[21:15] <@Lum_> I AM MOVING

[21:15] <@DA_SLOG> throttle up on the joystick

[21:15] <@Chum> UP UP AND AWAY!

[21:15] <@Madman> FLY FREE LUM! FLY FREE!

[21:15] <@PyroRaven> pull up pull up! good god man

[21:15] wonder of wonders

[21:15] <@Lum_> my joystick doesn’t have a throttle

[21:15] <@StackedMidgets> ITS A BIRD ITS A PLANE

[21:15] <@Madman> STALL ALERT! STALL ALERT!

[21:15] <@DA_SLOG> ROFL

[21:15] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[21:15] <@Lum_> WHAT DO I DO

[21:15] <@DA_SLOG> you can’t fly I think

[21:15] Sooo WWII suxxor than?

[21:15] Oh this is going to go downhill

[21:15] HAHAHAHA

[21:15] <@StackedMidgets> “SIR MY PLANE HAS NO THROTTLE CONTROL”

[21:15] <@Lum_> WHAT THE HELL?

[21:15] <@PyroRaven> hit 9

[21:15] <@Madman> haha

[21:15] COME ON EVERY FLIGHTSIM CAN FLY WITH THE KEYBOARD

[21:15] <@Lum_> I CANNOT FLY A PLANE?

[21:15] <@DA_SLOG> you have to map the throttle

[21:16] <@Zazmak> The feature you are looking for has not been implemented yet.

[21:16] <@DA_SLOG> to keys

[21:16] <@Lum_> BECAUSE MY JOYSTICK DOESN”T HAVE A THROTTLE?

[21:16] <@Georgi_Zhukov> omfg

[21:16] <@Lum_> My plane is still moving

[21:16] <@Bieeardo> This is indeed a momentuous occasion.

[21:16] <@DA_SLOG> but it’s broke I think

[21:16] <@Lum_> I WILL TAXI TO VICTORY

[21:16] <@PyroRaven> you are out dated!

[21:16] <@Madman> haha

[21:16] <@Lum_> YES

[21:16] Oh this update is going to rox my sox I think

[21:16] <@Lum_> I FIRED MY GUNS

[21:16] <@Lum_> I AM SO DANGEROUS

[21:16] <@Madman> haha

[21:16] <@Adar|AFK> Words cannot express this

[21:16] <@StackedMidgets> YOU HAVE TO UPDATE TO GET UP TO 1940 STANDARDS

[21:16] <@PyroRaven> the bomber has guns?

[21:16] <@DA_SLOG> I don’t even want to get into the Read Only KEy config files

[21:16] <@Lum_> I CANNOT WAIT TO GET ONLINE AND DO THIS

[21:16] <@Zazmak> Take her on the Highway!

[21:16] <@Adar|AFK> ahahahaha ahaha haha ahaha ahahahahaha

[21:16] <@Madman> lum is just going to drive around the field of battle in a plane shooting tanks

[21:16] <@Lum_> I DROPPED A BOMB!

[21:16] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[21:16] <@Georgi_Zhukov> You dropped the bomb?

[21:16] <@DA_SLOG> help me

[21:16] <@Madman> haha

[21:16] He set up us the bomb!

[21:17] <@PyroRaven> to is to much

[21:17] <@PyroRaven> this

[21:17] Someone set us up the bomb

[21:17] <@Lum_> I only had one bomb

[21:17] <@Lum_> I guess I dropped it

[21:17] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[21:17] <@Lum_> woah

[21:17] <@Madman> haha

[21:17] <@PyroRaven> did it go off?

[21:17] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:17] <@DA_SLOG> did you take off?

[21:17] <@Lum_> the plane is like bucking around now

[21:17] <@Lum_> no

[21:17] <@Chum> heh

[21:17] <@StackedMidgets> ITS A MINIGAME

[21:17] <@StackedMidgets> DONT FALL OFF

[21:17] <@Adar|AFK> I HAVE DROPPED MY BOMB ON THE FLOOR

[21:17] run outta gas?

[21:17] <@StackedMidgets> roofle

[21:17] <@Eldin> I can’t stop lauging

[21:17] <@Madman> if you hold on for 8 seconds you get the power up and win the game!

[21:17] <@Lum_> OFFROAD TAXIING

[21:17] <@DA_SLOG> hehehehehehe

[21:17] <@PyroRaven> head for the road

[21:17] <@Lum_> BUT I ONLY HAD ONE BOMB

[21:17] <@PyroRaven> go for a drive

[21:17] <@Lum_> HOW DO I RELOAD

[21:18] <@PyroRaven> you land

[21:18] <@StackedMidgets> SHOOT OFFSCREEN

[21:18] <@PyroRaven> heh

[21:18] <@Lum_> oh and I can’t steer

[21:18] Lummy set us up the bomb..you have no chance to survive make your time. hahaha

[21:18] <@Lum_> I can only taxi forward

[21:18] <@Zazmak> flaps man flaps!

[21:18] <@Lum_> HOW DO I DO FLAPS

[21:18] <@Lum_> THAT SOUNDS IMPORTANT

[21:18] <@DA_SLOG> you locked the tail wheel

[21:18] <@StackedMidgets> USE THE MAGIC FEATHER

[21:18] <@Georgi_Zhukov> The rudder

[21:18] <@Lum_> TAIL WHEEL UNLOCKED

[21:18] <@DA_SLOG> Q and W are flaps

[21:18] <@Madman> unlock the tail wheel!

[21:18] <@Lum_> um

[21:18] <@Chum> How many #lumcorp members _does_ it take to fly a plane?

[21:18] <@PyroRaven> lol

[21:18] <@Lum_> and I still can’t steer

[21:18] hahhahahahahhahaaha

[21:18] <@Georgi_Zhukov> hahahaha

[21:18] <@Madman> flap the flaps and you will flap your way to victory!

[21:18] hahakljhlkjdhsa;lkhdsfl’khdlkzhlk;dfzhlk;hdclkhs”Dlj HAHha

[21:18] <@Lum_> OK

[21:18] <@Adar|AFK> hahahahahahahaha

[21:18] <@anarch> lum: you never got your pilot liscense?

[21:18] <@Lum_> I STABILIZED

[21:18] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:18] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Chum: 31

[21:18] <@Lum_> no, it’s spinning again

[21:18] <@DA_SLOG> ITS REALISTIC LUM

[21:19] and I dont know where he is now

[21:19] <@Lum_> REALISTIC

[21:19] you stabilized? arnt you on the ground?

[21:19] <@anarch> banned from where?

[21:19] <@Eldin> This is why the French lost

[21:19] <@anarch> hahah

[21:19] <@Lum_> WHAT THE HELL IS REALISTIC ABOUT MY STUKA JOYSTICK NEEDING AN UPGRADE

[21:19] <@DA_SLOG> WHATEVER NOOB

[21:19] <@Lum_> I AM GOING BACKWARDS NOW

[21:19] <@anarch> lum: hahaha

[21:19] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:19] <@Chum> lol

[21:19] <@Zazmak> ha

[21:19] Well the french probably couldnt afford throttles…

[21:19] hahhaha

[21:19] <@Madman> I didn’t know airplanes could taxi backwards

[21:19] <@Lum_> HEY

[21:19] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Anarch: Don’t remember, he said something

[21:19] <@Lum_> HEY

[21:19] <@anarch> lum: sorry ailerons are an ‘upgrade’

[21:19] <@Lum_> I THINK I TOOK OFF

[21:19] <@StackedMidgets> BACKWARDS?

[21:19] <@DA_SLOG> oh no

[21:19] <@PyroRaven> skillz

[21:19] <@Adar|AFK> w00t!

[21:19] <@StackedMidgets> roxx

[21:19] <@Lum_> no

[21:20] <@Lum_> it was an optical illusion

[21:20] *** Adar|AFK is now known as Adar

[21:20] <@Lum_> I just bounced real hard

[21:20] <@DA_SLOG> lol

[21:20] <@Eldin> lol

[21:20] <@Madman> lum has l33t skills to take off going backwards

[21:20] <@anarch> hahah

[21:20] <@StackedMidgets> hehehehe

[21:20] <@Zazmak> He jumped it!

[21:20] <@Adar> lol

[21:20] <@StackedMidgets> oi[ewhpfapkfeas

[21:20] <@Eldin> Find a cliff, Lum

[21:20] <@anarch> lum quit ollying with your stuka

[21:20] haha

[21:20] <@anarch> show off

[21:20] <@Lum_> I’m still going backwards

[21:20] <@PyroRaven> get out of the damned thing

[21:20] <@DA_SLOG> ok maybe they fixed the keymapper from the previous Version

[21:20] lol RAM blitz

[21:20] <@Lum_> do I have any exterior views?

[21:20] <@anarch> you sure your not in the gunner view?

[21:20] <@Lum_> WOAH

[21:20] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[21:20] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Kran: Lum is playing it, we’re just laughing at it

[21:20] <@DA_SLOG> NUMPAD LUM

[21:20] <@Lum_> I STARTED SPINNING AGAIN

[21:20] *** DA_SLOG is now known as da_slog

[21:20] <@Lum_> HEY

[21:20] *** ChanServ sets mode: +o da_slog

[21:21] <@Lum_> I CAN SEE MY CROTCH

[21:21] <@Madman> heh

[21:21] <@Chum> anarch: sure

[21:21] <@Georgi_Zhukov> …

[21:21] Im down

[21:21] <@Lum_> ok

[21:21] <@da_slog> Lum you cna’t fly anyway

[21:21] <@Lum_> I am going to try to do a tank now

[21:21] <@Lum_> I think I have exhausted my stuka of ammo

[21:21] <@Somebob> What an impressive game

[21:21] <@da_slog> and it’s bomb

[21:21] <@Lum_> LEFT SHIFT ESCAPE

[21:21] <@Lum_> and its ONE BOMB

[21:21] Haha

[21:21] Stukas had oh 5 or so

[21:21] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:22] <@Madman> you killed your ground crew!

[21:22] <@Lum_> I AM GOING TO DRIVE A TRUCK NOW

[21:22] <@da_slog> there must be a way to reload

[21:22] just fly low enough to the ground to run people over..works in tribes

[21:22] haha

[21:22] <@Somebob> They probably forgot to put collisions in

[21:22] <@Lum_> let’s see if I can drive a truck

[21:22] * @da_slog thinks the review won’t be a good one

[21:22] <@Dracleath> Kamikazi into people

[21:22] <@Lum_> DO I HAVE TO UNLOCK THE TAIL WHEEL?

[21:22] <@StackedMidgets> rofl

[21:22] <@anarch> hahah

[21:22] <@da_slog> on the truck?

[21:22] <@Madman> no…but you have to install the rear axle

[21:22] <@Lum_> YES

[21:22] <@Georgi_Zhukov> NO, BUT YOU MUST LOCK THE TAILGATE

[21:22] <@Zazmak> Unlock the 4 wheel drive

[21:22] <@StackedMidgets> oh chirst

[21:22] <@Lum_> it won’t start

[21:22] <@Madman> don’t forget to kick the tires lum

[21:22] <@StackedMidgets> lol

[21:23] <@Lum_> it’s making a funny noise

[21:23] <@Lum_> OK it started

[21:23] <@StackedMidgets> wind it at the front

[21:23] LOL

[21:23] <@anarch> haha

[21:23] <@PyroRaven> you need to put gas into it by hitting shift f10 then g

[21:23] <@Kranrev> Just pick up a Mauser and charge

[21:23] <@da_slog> you use your Joystick to steer it

[21:23] <@anarch> lum: yah well you dont know anything about darktide politics!

[21:23] <@Lum_> I HAVE TO SWITCH GEARS

[21:23] <@da_slog> bracket keys

[21:23] <@Kranrev> r00fle

[21:23] <@Madman> SHIFT UP!

[21:24] <@Lum_> I AM NOW DRIVING A TRUCK

[21:24] <@Georgi_Zhukov> Kran: you have to press 4 mouse buttons to shoot

[21:24] <@StackedMidgets> SHIFT DOWN

[21:24] <@Adar> These people need to clone Rowyl a few dozen times

[21:24] <@Lum_> I HAVE SUCESSFULLY DRIVEN A TRUCK

[21:24] <@Lum_> gosh this is exciting

[21:24] <@Lum_> whee

[21:24] <@Lum_> I am driving a truck

[21:24] <@Lum_> yep yep

[21:24] <@da_slog> WOOT LUM FIGURED SOMETHING OUT

[21:24] liar

[21:24] <@Madman> haha

[21:24] <@StackedMidgets> RUN OVER SOME CHILDREN

[21:24] <@anarch> try to flip it

[21:24] <@Lum_> no stopping me now

[21:24] <@DeepT> get out of the truck and shoot it with a bazzoka and see if it moves.

[21:24] <@da_slog> okok

[21:24] <@Madman> he’s just faking it to impress us

[21:24] <@Adar> Next step: Find somewhere to drive it?

[21:24] <@Lum_> NO

[21:24] <@PyroRaven> reading the message board it seems othere people can play it just fine

[21:24] <@Lum_> I REALLY AM

[21:24] <@da_slog> Lum I have to go play AOE2 now

[21:24] <@Georgi_Zhukov> DRIVE IT THROUGH DOWNTOWN BERLIN

[21:24] <@Lum_> I am driving towards some trees now

[21:24] <@Rasputin> bazzoka??

[21:24] <@da_slog> cause it’s like fun and whatnot

[21:24] <@Lum_> OK

[21:24] <@PyroRaven> Gameplay:

[21:24] <@PyroRaven> OMFG what a great game this is. You cannot understand untill you have participated in an attack on a town or the defence of a town. I almost had an orgasm once when I straifed a truckload of germans about to pull up to a hotly contested capture point.

[21:24] <@Rasputin> is that some greek artillery piece?

[21:24] <@Madman> ram the trees!

[21:25] <@Georgi_Zhukov> ITS LIKE A BAZOOKA, ONLY SILLIER

[21:25] <@Lum_> I AM JEALOUS

[21:25] <@DeepT> bazooka

[21:25] one sec Lum_

[21:25] <@Lum_> I WISH I COULD PLAY A FUN GAME

[21:25] <@anarch> hehe lum come play aoe

[21:25] <@Lum_> cant

[21:25] <@Lum_> I AM DOWNLOADING PATCH

[21:25] <@anarch> eww..

[21:26] <@Lum_> think I’ll call this update LUM LEARNS TO

[21:26] you know what truck rhymes with? suck.

Session Close: Wed Jun 06 21:26:48 2001