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A NEWS DISPATCH FROM ABOUT 5% OF NAPA [Author: lum]

Bono took time out from recording the next U2 album to write…

Yes…I know its hard to believe…I have played UO for 2 years *sigh*. UO is kinda like smoking…you do it cause all your friends are doing it…it starts out a not very enjoyable experiance, but you get addicted and soon you are cancelling a date so you can go hunt down two reds who were just spotted down by the local mines…its sad really.

I have seen my share of OSI screw ups…but this macroing thing has to be the most ridiculous thing the UO staff has ever embarked on. I wish Richard Garriot hadn’t been killed during the shooting at OSI HQ after the supposed “screw up” when he died from a firefield during the beta. He would get a kick out of this one…

Anyone who has ever made a character that doesn’t die when he falls off east trinsic bank knows that you need to macro to have a good character. Hardly anyone kills monsters for fun, might as well mow the lawn or something. There are basically 4 groups of UO players as I see it: Roleplayers who walk around speeking in Yee Oldie English, Japanese players, PVPers, and Newbies. All PVPers macro, you know that, I know that…people who say they don’t macro are either really really bad PVPers or lieing sacks of shit.

OSI needs to realize we aren’t all high school drop outs who got our computer using our welfare money instead of buying food. Some of us have lives, girl friends, wives, children, JOBS, WORK TO DO!!!! JEEEEESSSUS! If I didn’t macro I would have a guy running around with like 12 magery and 0.3 sword..now that would be interesting!

I’m not about to switch to EQ, I played it for 5 minutes and threw it away…i don’t understand what people see in that game.

After reading your site and the chat transcript I got so mad I am making a permanent macro..now my guy will macro walking around…buying from vendors…talking to people, opening his bank box…just a basic world interaction macro…I am getting all my friends on Napa Valley to follow in my foot steps. Which is about 15 people, pretty good considering there are 18 people on the server.

My interactive “world macro” was my brain child and I estimate it will last until I get bored and need to check my e-mail again. I Was just on Sonoma with my new character “NARC” sending a lot of messages to the GM…will I accomplish anything? Nope..except maybe a 24 hour ban, I just wanna feel like I am doing something =)

OH oOOH I got some attention, here is a transcript of what happened:

MEssage to GM: “someone is macroing!!! STOP THEM DAMMIT!!!”

GM Loki: “What is his name”

Me: “Bill….”

GM Loki: “I am sorry, there is no one named bill on the shard right now.”

Me: “Maybe it was John..”

GM Loki: “Hmm..lemme check”

*A guy wearing a purple robe and a bone helm runs out of the North Side inn named Hin Hin, I am clearly a newly created character too.”

*Hin Hin pauses right near me*

Me: NO WAIIITITTI!…it was Hin HIN!!!…It was HIN! HIN!! HIN HIN WAS MACROING!!! I SWEAR!! HE WAS MACROING SPIRIT SPEAK!!!

Gm: “Hmmm…macroing isn’t illegal, unattended macroing is”

*Gm vanshes*

Me: FINE!!! LEAVE ME HERE YOU RED ROBED COMMI BASTARD!!! …dammit!

Well…this is getting kinda long..I should probably go do something useful like open cans or something…whatever people do when they are not playing UO, maybe I will recall to the store and corp por some of the workers moving carts around who are in the ungarded area.

-Bono of Napa Valley (Player 1 out of 18 on Napa)

AN EQUATION TO CONSIDER [Author: lum]

Bono, 5% of the Napa shard, sends this:

UO + All powerful red-robed men + donuts (gotta have em in any equation) + trying to make the game “fair” by cracking down on macroers = Communism!

It makes sense, given enough tranquilizers. In other news, I’m looking for someone to maintain the manic pace of updates to this site while I’m away at Austin this weekend giving the beatdown to Mister Fancy Cuffs. So far I’ve considered Britney Spears, Angela the non-trenchcoated Goth, a small, cute puppy, Worf, and blowing it off and just making you suffer until Monday.

TODAY’S UPDATE FROM ORIGIN’S MINISTRY OF INFORMATION (CARLY DIVISION) [Author: lum]

When I first got to Origin, I was actually keen on using a name I’ve used in roleplaying games for a long time. Xavia.. but, as a community person, I felt that perhaps I should allow myself to be named by the community.

The first place I started talked to people was on the Horizon’s board, for the Ascension crowd.. and I proposed this to them. They took to the idea like fish to water.

RG’s pet name for my position was the “Minister of Information” and I shared that detail with the board. After a couple of iterations on the M.O.I. theme, Lady MOI was chosen by the group, and I accepted the name.

When we put the official Ascension boards up at Origin, they technology didn’t allow for spaces, and so the space between Lady and MOI was dropped. LadyMOI.

There ya go…
Carly

I still like the name “Spin Dragon”. But I’ll accept that we in the UO community take second place to those U:A dweebs. However, I think LadySpinMOIDragon had a pretty cool idea. So let’s rename Lum! What do you think I should be named? Dippy Dragon? Scourge of Binky? A$$r0x0R? Send em in.

ACCORDING TO OLDMANMURRAY, THEY’RE ALSO GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS QUAKE 3 DEMO FOR MAC ONLY THING [Author: lum]

(AP) From the helpful diatribes of the Utopian Anarchist Party, the only political movement actually trying to take credit for the Littleton massacre, comes this trenchant analysis of current trends in gaming…

The gaming issue that really bothers us right now is the delay of Birth of the Federation! Where is our Master of Orion II sequel motherfuckers? Some of us here used to fight with our girlfriends over whether to play MOOII or fuck them, and now you keep pushing the sequal back, so we’re stuck with these empty brained, big-breasted bitches! Oh wait, maybe that’s not a bad thing …

Lum the Mad, when asked for comment, snorted and replied “Only virgins talk like that.”