I was sent this from Wyrtgorn of the wee people about the latest on the Tallon Zek racewar server. This is a good example of why they REALLY need to disable all combat near zone lines.

Here’s a situation that happened last night. We, being gnomes/dwarves/halfings, generally OWN the elves 24/7. This isn’t propaganda, it’s just fact. Well occasionally we get the zone line wars, and this is a story from one of them.

Last night I was playing as my Dwarf, Wyrtgorn when while running to reienforce the Lfay -> Gfay border on the Lfay side I see about 30 Elves and a GM named Teeka the Patient. I cast my Divine Aura and bust through the lost of them and get into Lfay where I was greeted to about 20-30 gnomes, and me the only dwarf. We were slaughtering the elves as soon as they zoned, and outa no where Arandiel, a human, pops up. His name turns Green and we’re like ok. He tells us we’re camping their corpses. Now, I asked camly if he had seen the other force, and they were camping our corpses. He didn’t reply and just told us not to attack the elves comming through! Of coruse we didn’t listen and we started to slaughter them, meanwhile the GM was screaming, “DWARF STOP!” and I did.

This goes on for about 5 minutes, when he finally steps in and HEALS an elf named Sinfier. Now I’m not one to usually grip about someone, but this SAME elf runs behind our backs and summons his pet which starts to pick us off one by one. Taking it personal I run around and of course die to his pet and his spells. This has gone too far. I come back with my summoned hammer, asked the GM WTF was he doing? He allowed and elf to heal and now cause havoc amoung us. He didn’t respond, the only words outa his mouth were, “This is uncontrolable, they never said anything like this would happen. If either side wants their bodies they’ll have to surmount a force large enough to hold the othere off and let people get their corpses.” Then he disappeared while the elves had grown to such numbers behind us we had to leave.

War is war, why would anyone let their enemy get their stuff to use on them again?


It wasn’t Britfest, but it was a 3 day weekend, so we packed up the Lumvan and drove… into the middle of freakin’ nowhere.After wandering around into the desert aimlessly, we finally came upon a tin wooden shack WITHOUT AIR CONDITIONING which, apparently, was the site of the SemiMonthly Texas DeathMatch UO Luncheon Thingy.(Did I mention the was NO AIR CONDITIONING? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT? Just checking.)
However, despite there being NO AIR CONDITIONING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT, there was barbeque in abundance, which I assume, is why lots of people trekked from otherwise seemingly sane cities into THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT WITHOUT AIR CONDITIONING to eat a hearty repast. Here you see the room they stuck all the UO folks in.
Here you see two of the organizers of this festive event, Sir Fragmor of the CSC guild on Great Lakes, and LadyMOI, of the OSI guild in Austin. Sir Fragmor is laughing nervously because LadyMOI just told him she was divorced. LadyMOI is grinning evilly because Lum is a few feet away and in the heat it is easy to imagine him being flayed alive by war beetles.
This is the feared GM Ghostpig. Actually he doesn’t look like that, but(a) he told me that if I published his picture I would suffer horrible consequences,and(b) he’s a GM on Siege Perilous.Rest assured, he does not look 19 years old.
GM Gabriel, on the other hand, DOES look 19 years old, but he is quite insistent that he is, in fact, old enough to drink legally. Unlike the previous time that I saw him, he was much more at ease with himself among the players and only flinched a few times.
This is ToaD, WhO is NoW co-LeaD DesigneR for UO (he shares designer duties with Sunsword, who didn’t show). He only flinched when the words “necromancy”, “alchemy” and “Globalcenter” were mentioned.
And here we see Calandryll, the Voice Of OSI. Many people seem to think Calandryll is female. Unless there are some serious chicken growth hormones in Texas that I need to watch for, he’s not. He was the Master of Ceremonies for the Question and Answer period and actually took the people asking questions seriously, unlike the rest of us who snickered during most of them.
Here is a rare photo of one of the Secret Masters of UO. We don’t know who he is, but every OSI employee deferred to him and called him “Boss”. Frankly, he frightened us. So much so that we didn’t get his name. For some reason I thought it was “Gordon”. I’m pretty sure his name wasn’t “Gordon”. But for now, it will do. He lurked in the shadows, occasionally issuing forth one word answers to questions such as “NO!”, “YES!” and “LATER!”

Here is my abbreviated although somewhat word-for-word transcript of the Q & A that followed the lunch. The first question was asked by this guy pictured to the right and pretty much set the tone for the entire afternoon:


Toad: Uh…. we didn’t?

Q: Why am I getting 100% packet loss when on a cable modem while connected to Atlantic?

GM Gabriel: Send a tracelog to uotrace@owo.com and they’ll see what’s up.

Q: I saw “We will be revamping Order and Chaos” on the Update Center. What does “revamping” mean?

Toad: Lots of people don’t like the side effects of Order/Chaos wars such as huge piles of dead bodies in town, so we will be looking at ways to impact the effect of Order/Chaos on others. Nothing is planned immediately.

Q: What about necromancy, alchemy, player races…


LadyMOI: We will be updating the UO web sites with more detailed progress on outstanding issues.

Q: What about server-side lag, and are there any plans for dealing with network congestion and upgrading UO’s network?

Gordon: Server-side lag is caused by exploiters and “twinks” – I used that word, you can quote me – who use exploits to cheat in the game. We are working to fix these. As we eliminate exploits, server-side lag will decrease. As for network congestion, we are upgrading our equipment constantly to meet demand, but the Internet itself is congested, and no matter what network provider we choose, two months later they will become screwed up. Much of the problem involves network peering (a technical term which indicates the practice of network providers sharing bandwidth – Lum) and we work with our network providers as much as possible and try to choose those who do not rely on peering. You can help by sending us your UOTrace logs as we use those logs as leverage when dealing with our server providers. We are also working on methods in game to reduce reliance on network latency but that will take some time. However, 80 to 90% of network congestion is out of our control and pretty much all we can do is jump up and down and scream.

Q: What happened to Chesapeake? After the promised upgrades it didn’t seem too different from the problems we suffered last week. Any news on this?

Calandryll: I don’t know anything right now; I’ll check back at the office and with other Chesapeake players Monday and report back to you.

Q: Will we get the ability to resmelt used armor into ingots?

Gordon: Let me answer this one… Yes!

Toad: I love this guy.

Q: Well, when is it coming?

Gordon: I’m not going to say THAT!

Q: Well, is it going to be like necromancy?

Gordon: No!

Q: Well, what about alchemy?

Gordon: Yes!

Q: When?

Gordon: Later!

Lum: This makes it awfully easy for me to take notes.

Gordon: Seriously, with Necromancy and Alchemy, we need to do a considerable amount of research into the possible effect of such radical gameplay changes on the game world. Do you really want hundreds of potions dumped into the world with no thought as to how they effect play balance? We want to move forward carefully. We have over 135,000 sets of expectations to meet. We are reacting to problems in the current service, while adding new features at the same time. It’s a difficult process.

Q: Is Siege Perilous going to have necromancy and alchemy updated at the same time as the other servers?

Gordon: Even though Siege Perilous has different rules from other shards, Siege will be updated with the same updates as the other servers.

Q: What about forgetfulness potions for skill management? Could those be added sooner?

Toad: Should we discuss that?

Gordon: We will implement skill management soon.

Q: Will any new land be opened up for housing soon?

Gordon: No comment! However, small houses are being placed every day on every shard. It does take effort and leg work to find a place to place a house, but it is possible. We are now tracking on every shard how many houses are placed daily and what type.

Q: The update center hasn’t been updated in quite a while with what is being worked on. Why?

Calandryll: We will update those parts of the web site soon. As a result of the recent “changing of the guard”, we are assigning personal responsibilities for each part of the web site and you should see much more updates very soon.

Q: Now that macroing is under control, will skill gain be made easier?

Toad: We’re not planning on doing anything immediately.

LadyMOI: If you have any thoughts on this or anything else, email us.

Q: What about house auctions?

Toad: Yes! (I’m following Gordon’s lead.)

Q (from Lum): What about UO2? I know that probably no one here is working on it, but will players be allowed input into the design process as it moves forward?

Gordon: What’s UO2?

LadyMOI: We don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.

(entire OSI team whistles and looks at the ceiling)

Q: Will anything be done about bandages being so much heavier than the cloth they are cut from?

Toad: Bandages are covered in antiseptic. They’re really heavy.

Q: What about veteran quests? Will they be more interesting than the newbie quests currently being beta tested?

Toad: They will be be much different from newbie quests. Possibly something like go find this sword to kill this monster to get this treasure. We hope to have the ability to have people going to multiple towns.

Gordon: Most issues involve enabling players to run quests and events. We are preparing to give new tools to Seers and IGMs (Interest Game Masters – GMs who run OSI events on shards – Lum) so that they can be empowered to build quests to order. The creativity of players will always be greater than anything we can come up with.

Q: I’m a PK on Siege. (in response to my question, he told me he had an Archery of 80 and a Tactics of 65) I get fatigued on my horse long before I would on foot, since I can eat fish steaks to regenerate stamina. Are there any plans to fix this? Everyone outruns me when I pursue them.

Toad: There are no plans to change horses.

Q: I remember when there would be monster invasions of towns – the town cryer would announce that, say, Trinsic would be under attack, the guards would be turned off there and the screen would just be filled with wall-to-wall orc mages. Those were some of the best events ever run in UO, and they just stopped. What happened?

Gordon: As I said, we are currently restructuring the Seer/IGM program and you should see many more events after this happens.

Calandryll: Also, events happen often now; you should check the Town Cryer and other news sites for details.

Q: Here’s a suggestion for housing – why not when placing a house make it so that the house shadow highlights when placing it? And making it so that ferns and blades of grass don’t block placing a house?

Toad: I’m not working on housing right now.

Afterwards the meeting devolved into anarchy as everyone fought over the best way to place houses, only to be stopped as LadyMOI gave out Free Stuff, including this T-shirt modelled by fellow UO Celebrity Kazola and music CDs which apparently were MIDIs from Ultima 7 and Strike Commander.

All in all, it was great material for a web page, so, um, that would explain the web page you are reading now. Oh, and there was NO AIR CONDITIONING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT. Did I mention that?


Just got back from the Texas desert, and true to my word, I didn’t take any pictures. Well, OK, actually I did. They’re with the rest of my report on what happens when a whole bunch of UO people drive out in the desert and ask what happened to smiths, anyway.

Also, apparently, while I was passed out or something I went on Siege and lit up a toke or two while listening to Metallica. The UONN has the full story.


Got this from uo.com. Dammit, the first bug I ever got posted on Dr. TwisTer’s and they go and fix it!

After Siege Perilous returns from its 5am CST scheduled maintenance on Saturday, August 14, the following changes will be implemented:

  • You will no longer be able to mark any runes in a dungeon.
  • You will not able to gate into or out of a dungeon, even with a previously marked dungeon rune.
  • It will not be possible to place boats in a dungeon.
  • Any boats currently in a dungeon will be deleted automatically after the maintenance.

By the way this will be the last update until I return from Austin Monday. Remember that the latest event of Lumapalooza, the UOSS Celebrity Chat, is Monday, so you can all poke holes in my persona and make fun of my Southern accent. I pledge to answer all questions, even the weird ones. However, I won’t mention anything about the book, record and movie deals I’m working on because it would bother Jinx.


Well, Siege Perilous is seeing its first war, and, no doubt to the surprise of many, it doesn’t involve anyone going OoooOoooOOOoo… yet, anyway.

Full disclosure: just for the three of you who don’t already know, I am, in UO, a member of the Temple of Mondain guild. Our first activity as a guild on SP was in making a GM Smith, Mondain’s Hand, based in Minoc. This was a cooperative effort, and with 20 miners and 4 people playing the smith character full time, we managed to have the first GM smith on Siege. Scroll down a ways and you can see me bragging about it.

Shortly thereafter others also achieved GM Smith, including Adrick out of Britain and Batlin (who smiths as Mr. Craftsman), also out of Minoc. Batlin immediately won the Adrick Award (given for pissing everyone off on CoB) by posting that well, he was the first GM Smith who actually worked at it. This failed to amuse those other GM smiths who managed to work through tens of thousands of ingots simply by smiling a lot and waving or something.

Not content with that, he then posted his price list, which severely undercut most other smiths to the point of idiocy. Adrick’s immediate reaction (after having the same reaction as everyone else, namely “WTF Man…?”) was to accept the very reasonably priced gauntlet thrown down in front of him. After a few pleasant words, Batlin threatened to have Adrick’s miners killed. He also bitched about Mondain’s Hand not having a life (apparently not realizing that MH was a guild’s cooperative effort).

Meanwhile, Batlin’s price war was having a cascading effect, as others marked their prices down to stay competitive. Adrick was unhappy about this, and pleaded with the other smiths to see reason. Batlin, being the mature competitor that he is, responded by calling Adrick a big baby. They exchanged views further and then went off to their respective corners. Meanwhile, Basil, who has apparently made it his life’s unceasing mission to whine about our guild, continued in his quest.

The price war continued, as Batlin dropped his unreal prices even further. (Any lower and he would be paying players to accept his goods.) He was cheered by some, but Adrick’s response was basically “if you want to provide smithed items at below market value, I’ll buy them off of you and make a profit reselling them.

Batlin thought this was fairly dirty pool (Imagine! People actually buying things he offered! The horror!) and posted a complaint about it. Adrick laughed, and other enterprising merchants decided to start profiting from the war. Adrick reiterated his position, and Batlin entrenched himself and announced that he was taking countermeasures against Adrick’s profiteering.

Meanwhile, the secret masters of Siege Perilous watch, and laugh.

(This evening’s entertainment brought to you by those fine folks at COB Discussions.)