Because I’m Leet Like Karl Franz
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One of the cooler “Come Back To Our Game Please” emails I’ve seen comes from Mythic this morning.

That’s right, my rank 12 character is CRITICAL to the war effort!
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#1 by CaesarsGhost on March 12th, 2009
Every war requires a level of cannon fodder
#2 by David on March 12th, 2009
Do well enough and they will force you to sit in your old cube and do your old job again too.
#3 by tannenburg on March 12th, 2009
Actually, “Cavort of Order” sounds like a really good band name.
#4 by Arrakiv on March 12th, 2009
Heh, I have to admit, I was rather amused by the mail when I saw it.
#5 by Hatch on March 12th, 2009
Come join our downsized game! Experience the glory of zerg based PVP! Play a marginalized role with no ability to really impact the outcome of the fight while you curse the mouth breathing WOW players around you for subscribing!
#6 by Ardanna on March 12th, 2009
Agreed, definitely one of the more creative come back to us letters!
#7 by TPRJones on March 12th, 2009
I just got mine.
“There is no time for rest at rank 5.”
The armies of Order are getting desperate.
#8 by Drey on March 12th, 2009
Level 12? You can’t stop there, that’s bat country!
#9 by Adam on March 12th, 2009
That must be the genius by which Jacobs had more subscribers yesterday than the day before.
#10 by Outlawedprod on March 12th, 2009
Below is the one I got. I think it’s pretty bad when several of the key things they use to entice me back are: bug fixes, server stability fixes, and you can level up faster.
You are ordered by Karl Franz himself to return to the front lines! As a loyal soldier in the armies of Order, your strength is needed once again! There is no time for rest at rank 22. Speed your journey to the campaign with increased experience in Tier 3. Your allies are still in the battle! Rise now, and bear the banner of Order to the very heart of The Inevitable City! To arms, and to glory!
Benefit from major improvements to overall performance and server stability!
Enjoy the fruits of our labor: over 1000 bugs squashed!
Enjoy increased experience in Tier 3
Gain rewards from influence earned in Open RvR
Wrest control of Tier 4 zones via our new Domination system
#11 by Freakazoid on March 12th, 2009
What would be more awesome, is if your guild was called “my butt” instead of bat country.
I would play again if I got something like that, if only for a month.
#12 by Bilsybub on March 12th, 2009
Mine went straight into my spam folder.
#13 by Vetarnias on March 12th, 2009
And sure enough…
Though, to be honest, I’m tempted to take advantage of it, just to see if their game is indeed more stable than it was.
But hey, I’ll still be Order, the pariah of Warhammer. And yeah, knowing that really makes that e-mail sound as though the King is desperate. Like… er… Kaiser Wilhelm? Franz Joseph? Nicholas II? All those fine monarchs whose royal lines are still… er… never mind.
#14 by Jeff on March 12th, 2009
I’ve slammed his Barnetness, MJ and Mythic a lot as of late. But I have to admit this was the coolest come back to the game type of email I have ever received.
Of course the caveat is if they had put this much thought and creativity into the game I still might be there, thus never needing the letter.
Ba dun dun
#15 by Stupid on March 12th, 2009
I’m frightened by the amount of data-mining used to craft those letters. They pulled the ranks of the canceled character and polled the friends lists? That couldn’t have been database intensive at all!
#16 by Derella on March 12th, 2009
I took advantage of the offer. I don’t know if the servers are just overly busy because of lots of people returning, but I found the game laggy(ie: 3-7 second delays after clicking NPCs). I managed to do the first welcome back quest, but got booted back to the character select screen while doing the second one. Then I quit.
#17 by Alarik on March 12th, 2009
“But hey, I’ll still be Order, the pariah of Warhammer. And yeah, knowing that really makes that e-mail sound as though the King is desperate. Like… er… Kaiser Wilhelm? Franz Joseph? Nicholas II? All those fine monarchs whose royal lines are still… er… never mind.”
Order is winning most servers since the last patch.
The game is definitely more stable than it was at launch, but the endgame still seems flawed. Pretty much every update they pull more ideas from DAoC, which is mostly a good thing in my opinion, since most people went into WAR expecting DAoC 2 anyway.
#18 by Drakks on March 13th, 2009
Mine comeback e-mail was far less spectacular:
“Karl Franz was sort of hoping you’d return as a loyal soldier in the armies of Order, but not for your strength as you’re not actually very good at this game! We just wanted your subscription fee, honestly. It’s the difference between someone making or not making a car payment this month. Help a brother out?”
#19 by Bonedead on March 13th, 2009
12 seems to be the magic number with WAR. 1-11 Scenarios could be a game of it’s own (and it wouldn’t be bad).
#20 by geldonyetich on March 14th, 2009
Since I had no friends still subscribed, it just replaced that line with “Your allies are still in the battle!” Apparently my character is still part of some amoeba guild I joined for a lark, too. Cool little spam bot, really.