Threat Condition VASHJ

No, I did not make this up. Someone in our fine, perfectly normal intelligence community was actually retarded enough to try to diagram how uberguilds can plan terror attacks through MMO STRATEGERY.

I can totally see where they are coming from. However, I think, as usual, our fine, perfectly competent intelligence community are being somewhat hung up by the WoW-centric coverage the media pays to our MMO industry. As a PATRIOT and an AMERICAN and someone who thinks Sarah Palin is SOMEWHAT ATTRACTIVE in a kind of TINA FEY way, let me explain how our entire industry can be subverted by the forces of darkness and Islam.

No word on how our completely not silly at all intelligence establishment plans to stop the clear and present danger of terrorists using Myspace, Facebook, AOL IM, Gmail, carrier pigeons, or other less intricate and mind-blastingly retarded ways of exchanging information with one another.

Al’Qaeda luckily has not yet taken advantage of World of Warcraft’s jaw-droppingly unlimited tools for the planning of global terror, since the group was riven with guild drama shortly after arguments about DKP.

  • Ashendarei

    oh good jesus.

  • Ashendarei

    that Lineage picture looks like something you’d find on the ‘net :P

    thankfully though this sort of behavior is ultimately self-destructive. (at least we can count on either suspicion or natural selection taking care of SOME of this for us).

  • http://www.damnedvulpine.com/ J.

    bwahahaha

  • http://www.tatteredpage.net Chas

    I just find it funny how quickly the gaming community gets alarmist over these things.

    Well before 9/11, various government intelligence agencies had shown how many illegal activities- from drug trafficking, to gangs, to espionage and terrorism, had started using public internet sites (like forums, image sharing services, etc) to send clandestine communications. It’s the online equivalent of “drop points” and notice markers- used by any cell-based covert structure to communicate without meeting face-to-face (at most just making eye contact in crowded places).

    That was done almost a decade ago. Realizing that it was being used as such didn’t stop flickr from becoming popular. It didn’t result in banning chatrooms or forums or other places that could serve as quick drop locations. It doesn’t mean that the government hired thousands to web browse all day.

    It was enough to understand that communication WAS happening that way- to make operatives aware of it, to be aware that it could be happening, and how it could happen.

    The image overlay example is fun to laugh at, but this is just an electronic equivalent of a “map overlay” that’s been used by spies for decades. IIRC one real cold war example was an actual printed magazine ad. When aligned atop a city map, all the instances of one character variation mapped the “drop points” to be used for future transfers.

    It isn’t farfetched or alarmist to put it in an MMO. MMO’s can be the “public place” where you can meet in crowds without seen as actually MEETING. You could put up custom descriptions on items in the game’s marketplace to serve as “drop points.” Heck, if RMT or character sales are supported, you could electronically transfer very small sums without leaving the electronic trail that you would through the regulated banking industry.

  • JuJutsu

    All the best terrorist organizations communicate through posts on Brokentoys.

  • Klaitu

    I miss moonglow bank!

  • Belsameth

    Uhm… ROFL! Is all I can say In guess. Mostly because of the one who came of with that WoW nonsense.

  • Bri

    While I agree the opportunity to poke fun is vast, and one that the MMO blogosphere is clearly powerless to resist, everyone seems not to see the disclaimer: “used to emphasize contextual challenges posed by emerging media environments.”

    Yes, they’re a very silly group. Yes, it’s they’re job to be paranoid, sometimes in ways that would make the Monty Python gang jealous. You don’t think they don’t know this?

    However, they’re simply trying to point out, in a way that even politicians would understand, the challenges they face with terrorists using Gmail, MySpace, Facebook, AOL IM, etc, ad nauseum — you know, “emerging media environments”. Yes, and even WoW, though the scenario they invented is totally and side-splittingly funny to anyone familiar with MMO’s.

    Love the screenies, btw, Scott. Very funny stuff.. :)

  • http://www.whatwouldmattdo.com wzrd

    So wait a second… the guys that live in caves are going to use MMOs to plan their next shindig? Highly doubtful!

    That’s not to say it’s not possible, but likely? Not really.

    Are those maps awesome though? Oh yes.

  • Robin Kestrel

    The lesson is here that Dan Arey somehow convinced the Office of the Director of National Intelligence to pay him for playing WoW for a week.

  • http://mythicalblog.com Jeff Freeman

    What J said.

  • dartwick

    On a serious note I dont think the feds need s a warrent to losten on on game chat.

    I actually wondered about the same concept intel report concerns back in DAoC days. Its kind of funny that it took this long for the CIA to get worried.

  • Merkwurdigliebe

    The douchebaggery of our government never ceases to amaze me. You know, if they would just quit pissing people off they wouldn’t be so pissed off at them. Too bad they decided to piss them off further. These people have long memories and no amount of restitution will satisfy them now. *sigh* Guess I’ll have to keep my Canadian t-shirt for when I travel overseas.

  • ubvman

    MMOGs are an inherently bad medium for planning dastardly deeds. For one, virtually ALL communications typed through the GUI is recorded by the MMOG CS (which will be happily given to the FBI if asked); and another even if you’re using a game time card (which can be traced somewhat), you got to give some personal details on registering. It just seems a lot of trouble when you can just use skype on a private encrypted VPN.

    Oh while we are at it, why are the screenshots in English? Why not in Arabic or any other foreign language from the various hotspots). The FBI don’t have enough Arabic speakers to go through the millions of hours of tapes they have already deemed suspicious, now they got to teach them how to play a WoW paladin?

  • http://www.thisisnotacommunity.org D-0ne

    Stephen: The Almighty says this must be a fashionable fight. It’s drawn the finest people.

  • Pingback: Help! Terrorists in World of Warcraft! | haslo.ch - Guido's Blog

  • Iconic

    “So wait a second… the guys that live in caves are going to use MMOs to plan their next shindig? Highly doubtful!”

    So wait a second… the guys that live in caves are going to use Jet Airplanes as missiles to blow up public buildings? Highly Doubtful!

    Seriously, use your brain. The example used for WoW is funny, but once you get past your ignorant notion that all terrorists are backwards camel lovers, you’ll start to realize that the point about using virtual spaces to coordinate and plan is actually very smart.

    Gold sellers demonstrate on a daily basis how easily throwaway characters and accounts can be created, and the complete douchebaggery of many players (and posters on forums) demonstrate the level of anonymity that exists.

    So put two and two together. Disposable anonymous identiities that allow communication to any one with an internet connection and a relatively powerful PC? Makes sense to me.

  • yunk

    Yeah some are in caves, with satellite phones, laptops, there is tons of commercially available communications equipment. How do you think Echelon worked so well? Or why many use the internet instead of phones. Plus last I checked Pakistan and Afghanistan (along with every other Stan, India, Iran, Syria, and yes, Italy, Ireland, Spain) all have cities and internet cafes.

    Of course the thing is your phone company generally doesn’t record calls, but most game companies log chat, ISPs keep email stored. Maybe most chat servers do the same. But then again, a major game would provide a huge noise to signal ratio to hide communication in. Once a private site is found tracking down the users is a lot easier than trying to figure out what person is talking to whom in general chat.

  • http://www.haslo.ch/blog/ Guido

    @yunk Now just imagine they start communicating via comments in blogs ;-)

    The problem is that, as I wrote in my post, however many movie plot threats we cover, there’s twenty more for each one we did cover that we haven’t.

  • http://www.plutospage.com/wow/ Yunk

    oh no! I told you not to tell anyone about our secret comment code!

    Actually reading the end of Lum’s post I think he hit on the solution to terrorism: tell them how easy it is to plan activities in MMOs, then watch them get addicted and spend all their time trying to down Brutalis instead of the Great Satan. then they will factionalize even more fighting each other over loot drama.

  • Sheepherder

    I’ve seen much more impressive work. Looks like some FBI guy needed a few slides for a presentation and didn’t want to spend more than 5 minutes on it.

  • Viz

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but, don’t real spies usually try to avoid telling reporters what they’re up to?