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Final Fantasy: A Restrospectivation
Final Fantasies One Through Three: don’t count. FF2 REALLY doesn’t count because it uses the worst use-based skill system EVER. You have to get beaten to gain hit points. This is not a message we want to be sharing with our children. These games have all been re-issued for every platform out there, because everyone wants to play twenty year old games on our new consoles. 
Final Fantasy Four: DARK KNIGHT BECOMES PRETTYMAN. They end up on the FREAKIN’ MOON. This used to be called Final Fantasy II (Final Fantasy I, remember, does not count). This is the first Final Fantasy most people my age ever played so we get all nostalgic about it SHUT UP. If you play FF4 play it on the DS the way God intended. It has cut scenes like this (on the original SNES all we got was some pixels yelling LALI-HO!) 
Final Fantasy Five: EXACTLY LIKE FINAL FANTASY FOUR but with actually a pretty cool class system. At the end of the game you end up in the Void, which looks mysteriously similar to the FREAKIN’ MOON. This was originally not released in the US in the SNES days because it was deemed too complex for gaijin to understand. I am not joking. The GBA version is the best. You can play a blue hair girl who waves at dragons. NO REALLY. 
Final Fantasy Six: Originally called Final Fantasy Three. Everyone older than 35 loves this one and geeks get into slap fights over which silly character is the coolest, mainly because it was the first real CRPG ever on a console that didn’t have you end up on the FREAKIN’ MOON. Plus at the end you fight GOD to the tune of an Emerson Lake and Palmer song. NO REALLY. Seriously, Final Fantasy Six is awesome and you should play it several times. 
Final Fantasy Seven: Originally called Final Fantasy Seven. Everyone older than 30 loves this one and geeks get into slap fights over which silly anime girlfriend they are secretly hot for (note: Tifa). This one defies previous convention by (a) being on a Playstation as opposed to a Super Nintendo and thus having hours of video and (b) having the FREAKIN’ MOON this time come to YOU. NO REALLY. But shots like this is why everyone loves FF7: 
Final Fantasy Eight: WAAAAAAAAAAAH I HAVE A GIRL THAT LOVES ME AND I AM SO EMO AND CONFLICTED AND FLASHBACKY AND THE OTHER GUY IS COOLER AND THERE’S THIS TEACHER WHO IS HOT FOR ME BUT SHE’S REALLY A STUDENT AND THE GAME SYSTEM IS RELIANT ON DRAWING SPELLS OUT OF YOUR ENEMY 100 TIMES FOR EACH SPELL AND JAPAN HATES YOU. 
Final Fantasy Nine: Originally called WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING
Final Fantasy Ten: I think this the best in the series and if you disagree you should just STEP OFF NOW. A character development system that gives you very granular, constant, customizable progress, graphics that were stunning for the PS2, and you have to kill your father, but it’s cool because he totally wants you to. There is literally a character for everyone in this game, from spunky anime girls to earnest anime girls. Mine is Auron, because he’s just a badass who goes into battle with a huge sword and a jug of wine. Plus he doesn’t look 12. 
Final Fantasy X-2: You know, this was actually not a bad game, once you got past things like graphic presentation, plot, and GIRRRL POWWWWWWWWER. OK, so it’s really hard to get past these things. But if you’ve been playing Final Fantasies since 1985, YOU LEARN TO. But this is the only Final Fantasy where there is not some WORLD SHATTERING EVIL that HAS TO BE STOPPED or at least CONFRONTED USING CAPITAL LETTERS. In FFX2 you just sorta bop around the world having happy adventures with your girlfriends.
Oh, and you’re a pop star. Thanks, Square. Just in case you didn’t pander QUITE enough.
Final Fantasy Eleven: Doesn’t actually count, because it turned into an MMO. However they have catgirls.
Final Fantasy Twelve: Turned into an MMO but still counts because you’re the only one playing it. It’s pretty good, in terms of game systems the equal of Final Fantasy Ten, in terms of graphics one of the best PS2 titles ever, but in terms of story, they ran out of story about 3/4 of the way through and it turns into HURRRR KILL BAD GUY NOW, which to be honest was the end game of every Final Fantasy ever, come to think of it. But still great graphics, great gameplay, and no battles on the FREAKIN’ MOON. Oh, and the coolest character is a goddamned pirate/pimp named Han Solo (not really) who has his own bunnygirl (really) named Chewbacca (not really). 
And thus is the complete history of Final Fantasy, except for the 30 or so games I skipped. You might ask why I went to all this trouble… and I’m not really sure. I blame unemployment and long sessions of FF4 DS.
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about 2 years ago
Coming from a rpg fan who replays 50-hour games on a semi-regular basis, I can say I pretty much agree with everything but FF8 and 10. I really liked 8, even if the system was long-winded and painful at times. On the other hand, I literally could not force myself to finish FF10. I just found the profound desire to kill off the main character repeatedly and as painfully as possible derailed me from the main flow of the game.
about 2 years ago
You spoony bard.
about 2 years ago
FF8′s draw system was the worst idea they’ve ever come up with. “We’ll make the player extend combat with trivial foes indefinitely so that they can stock 100 of every spell the foe can cast, and then penalize them with reduced stats should they ever USE any of that precious magic.” Brilliant!
FF12′s Gambit system is the second worst. Not because it’s poorly done, but because the game freaking plays itself. You can even train your henchmen to steal items for you. Bear in mind, Final Fantasies are about even thirds watching cut scenes, running around, and fighting things. The point at which my characters perform better without my intervention is the point at which it doesn’t make any sense for me to keep playing the game. Though I would have gladly paid $20 of the $50 price tag to watch a movie version of all the cutscenes since those are as good as ever.
I actually liked FF9, partially because of the fanservice (e.g. having a Dragoon), and partially because they had distinct character classes for the first time since FF4. When you let every character in the game learn everything in the game, it no longer matters who is in your party cause they can all do everything. In FF4 when you have to enter the Dark Elf’s cave with a party that doesn’t contain a real healer? You notice that your party is less than ideal.
about 2 years ago
Possibly the best retrospective of Final Fantasy I have ever read.
The FFVIII part clinched it for me, I think. That and, “Final Fantasy Nine: Originally called WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING”
*hands Lum little man-folding-his-arms-and-made-out-of-twigs-and-string statue*
about 2 years ago
You’re older than me, how was FF4 the first Final Fantasy you ever played?
about 2 years ago
The best part of FF9 is that the first time the player visits any city, it EXPLODES. Or is eaten.
about 2 years ago
FF9 is my favorite of the Playstation+ era. I just really dug the return to the more fantastical feel and who can not love Vivi the Black Mage.
FF7 is good, because someone dies that you actually care about, a rarity in RPGs.
FF8, 10, and 11 were all blah. I haven’t played one since 11 and 11 really soured me on the series.
about 2 years ago
Scott, we need to get you a job.
about 2 years ago
Scott, I’m borrowing your description of FF8 to use anytime someone tells me “It was pretty good.”
FF12 made it pretty much useless to be a caster; annoying. I liked 12 but it was the first one where I felt really compelled to just “finish the damn thing already.”
about 2 years ago
At least we didn’t get into the cross-pollination of FF characters in other games (i.e. Kingdom Hearts.) I still think the kitty-girl broked my brain, though.
about 2 years ago
The main problem i have with this series is its name.
How can they call it “Final” when they keep making more and more? Everyone knows its not the final one.
It rates right up thre with Word Perfect. If it was so perfect they wouldn’t have needed a version 2 either…
about 2 years ago
I LOLed.
about 2 years ago
Awesome nostlagia stuff. I’m playing through all the Ultimas now, and thanks to your single screenshot of FF6, I’m going to have to play through all the Final Fantasies when I’m done with Ultima.
Edgar and Sabin are the best characters. BRAVO FIGARO! Slap slap slap!
about 2 years ago
*applauds*
Well summarized!
A quick answer to one question:
FF9 – “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING”:
It was a thong.
A dude-thong.
This was the blood-price Yoshitaka Amano demanded of us to come back to the series, and we -agreed-, and after looking at Kuja’s package for mere seconds, everybody suddenly knew they’d made a terrible mistake.
about 2 years ago
So it wasn’t just me that noticed that FFXII was just Star Wars with Airships?
about 2 years ago
FF X? Seriously? There’s a guy in your group who fights people by hitting them with a water polo ball, and we’re supposed to take this seriously?
about 2 years ago
ff8′s draw and junction system is the most brilliant and underrated mechanic in FF History, if not JRPG history. The Refine system takes most of the hard work out of it if you do a little grinding of enemies (and grinding enemies is a feature of EVERY game) or play cards for a while. The Junction system then lets you customize each character to your heart’s content, and even if you choose to cast spells, refining more is just a menu screen away.
Seriously, you can absolutely dominate ff8 with almost no direct drawing from monsters. Just REFINE.
Also, I absolute loved ff8. Squall had a lot more depth than Cloud ever did, at the least. I thought ff8 had the best developed characters outside of ff6, really.
about 2 years ago
Great summary Lum, my thoughts:
FF1 – I LOVED this game (granted I was 10, and it was before my parents picked up a SNES) first entry to RPGs.
FF7 – Love it, but hated coming back to it years later due to the graphics (strangely this wasn’t a problem for me with FF1). But fear not! This problem is solved soon thanks to Square: http://www.1up.com/do/gameOverview?cId=3140613
FF8 – I liked the “Draw” feature, as it didn’t have me running around the damn map looking for materia, but in hindsight there were alot of drawbacks to the system I’d rather not see again.
FF9 – WTF. No REALLY, WTF.
FF10 – Really enjoyed this one, save for Blitzball .. I never got the hang of it and couldn’t force myself to devote the time, even to get the ultimate weapon from it …
FF11 (X2) – Gag.
FF12 – got to the mid teens and rerolled, then quit. no real staying power.
about 2 years ago
Did you write this while you were drunk?
Your age assesments are easily 10 years too old.
Final Fantasy 1 counts. It set the stage for many turn-based RPGs for that era and beyond. Your failure to join the bandwagon in time is no excuse to write that game off.
Just stick to MMOs and those silly war games. At least you know what you’re talking about with those.
about 2 years ago
I only ever played and completed Final Fantasy Tactics, which is still probably the only JRPG I’ve really enjoyed. I guess FFT doesn’t count in “the canon,” but it’s still undoubtedly my favorite PS game.
about 2 years ago
While I played more than Tactics, I concur with DM… FFT was my favorite, easily. But, I love Tactical RPGs.
Its actually the same world as FF12 too, I guess.
about 2 years ago
I have also been enjoying the FFIV (FF2…whateer) port to DS. I am reminded of why I loved the game.
I do remember playing FFI and loving it. I remember being shocked at how much game was crammed into an old 8-bit cartridge. The only other games that had kept me playing that long were the Dragon Warrior (Dragon Quest now) games from Enix.
I hope they hurry up and port FFVI (FF3…whatever) so I can get some old school Kefka action!
I also cannot wait for the Dragon Quest DS game coming out next month. Finally, games I can enjoy on my DS!
about 2 years ago
I’m amazed at the hate of FFXII’s Gambit system. What I loved about it was it did several things
1. Random encounters didn’t suck because you no longer switch from overworld to battle screen and then listen to the victory music over and over. The game was much less restrictive and even let you literally run from battles instead of holding two buttons down hoping you’d hear the scurrying sound of your party. It wasn’t nearly as bad in this arena as some of its predecessors (worst ever in random encounters was Xenogears, which had so many that, by the end, the story literally told you about your characters fighting through a dungeon later on just so you wouldn’t have to have sunk 100+ hours in just to reach the end)
2. No more inane menu surfing just to do some repetitive task. Oh look, Balthier is poisoned AGAIN. But wait! I told Fran that if she didn’t have anything better to do to cure anyone who was poisoned! Hooray!
Even Penny Arcade, who made the same complaint when they first heard of it, had to admit it made the game flow much more smoothly once they finally played it. You’re still controlling your characters, but now much of the repetitive button pushing (yes, hero, I want you to attack the same target AGAIN because it’s not DEAD yet) is removed and yet you need more precise control during major encounters or you’ll die horribly. It actually avoided the whole “plays itself” mentality.
FF9… yes, Zidane is a weird monkey-boy. But the game was redemptive after FF8 and the distant Squall whom you have a constant love-hate relationship with. They brought back classic elements to the FF series (hey, look! No more modern warfare or space travel!) It was straightforward with a good story and I liked that.
FFX… Strange ending, to be sure. Where FF9 embraced classic, FFX was apparently too good for it. A bit too much tragic destiny (not to mention the whole acid trip plotline) and a story that kinda needed a FFX-2. Where’s the crystals when you need them?
@IanB: Have you ever been hit in the face with a volleyball? The auto-return defied logic but, as a weapon, I can see it being pretty hardcore.
about 2 years ago
As a 27-year old male, I can say that my first Final Fantasy was FFI, played on the NES at the ripe age of 6… or 7. Either way, your age assessments are WAY too old, if a 27-year old can remember rushing home from school to play it.
I also think that XII was the bigget pile of garbage ever. It had the worst parts of single player games (slow combat, long loading screens) and the worst parts of MMOs (grinding just to get anywhere). I happily finished every single palyer final fantasy except for XII, which I didn’t even get halfway-through.
about 2 years ago
Here’s my take on the series for whatever its worth.
FF1: Eh. It was a good game. Started the series and all that. And it had a plot, such as it was.
FF2: …Yeah. First attempt at named characters and wider-reaching story, good. Use-based stat system… Bad.
FF3: Jobs system beta test. Never held my attention when I tried the fan-translated version and haven’t gotten it in its re-released form yet.
FF4: I… Liked it? Could have been better had they actually let anyone die (Dramatic tension tends to die when everyone who “died” in the game show up to save you at the same time.) They need to leash Kain or something so he quits wandering off getting himself brain washed. Also, Spoony Bard.
FF5: Not bad. Job system is great. Story isn’t horrible. Wasn’t much of a world left to save by the end though.
FF6: What can I say. Its spent the last 12 or 13 odd years in my top three RPGs list and it still isn’t showing any signs of leaving said list. 14 characters and all of them… Okay, the 10 or so with speaking parts, all have detailed, well-thought-out back stories. Great sound track. Detailed plot. Good storytelling. Good combat system…. I could keep going. Lets just say its an over-all great game.
FF7: Its a good game. It… I like 6 more, okay? 7 was a pretty game, had a good story, etc, etc. I just find 6 to be a better experience.
FF8: Someone give Squall an anti-depressant for the love of all that’s holy.
FF9: I don’t know why 9 gets such a bad deal froms ome people. It was a good game. Not the best, but not the worst. It dropped most of 7 and 8′s angst and gave a genuinely optimistic protagonist. It had an okay battle system and the game brought back elements of the older games in the series… Implementation was a bit screwy in some cases, but it could have been worse. I just wish a people would quit destroying cities shortly before or after Zidane visits them. That got to be a bit too much.
FF10: I’ve never played it. I keep meaning to buy it, but I never got around to it. Sounds okay. 10-2 doesn’t really catch my interest though. Maybe if I play 10 first I might grow a desire to play it.
FF11: Never played it.
FF12: Its not bad. Kinda made me loose interest part way though though. I ought to go back and play it again some time when I have some free time I suppose.
about 2 years ago
You have to get beaten to gain hit points. This is not a message we want to be sharing with our children.
“No pain, no gain.”
“Learn From Failure and Confirm with Success.”
“Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”
I think it’d be a fine thing for a game to make that statement explicitly and support it implicitly through game play.
I wish more games did that sort of thing. At the very least give me something to disagree with. The potential for a game’s explicit statement to be undermined by poor game design is awesome, too.
Never played FF2, but I’m assuming that was an implicit message anyway and my comment is totally irrelevant… so… ok.
about 2 years ago
wow jesus did FF8 suck. i ike how you mention the draw system to be the worst part of the game. i disagree. i damn near melted my game discs after i realized the 20 hours i spent leveling up to 100 was useless because it just made the game batshit stupid hard. and the fact that the summons took 11 decades and a month to finish. i never completed the game. i got to the part where you have to save rinoa, and then i chucked the discs in my back yard as hard as i could.
10 was probably my favorite. the leveling up system was pretty neat, and i really liked the fact that if i wanted to put the time into it, my people could become the gods a console RPG character is supposed to be. there is nothing quite like casting haste 9 times on rikku after getting her ultimate weapon and the hp/damage break and having her attack 8 times in a row every other combat action doing 17000 damage per hit.
i also really like 7, for much the same reason above. plus there was a lot of side quests to do, so it really made exploring the world worthwhile, which is always something i liked to do.
after that, definitely 6. but that was because a friend i had way back then and i would always do the co-op play on it. and co-op in an RPG like that is pretty fun.
having said all that, the phantasy star series is leagues better. phantasy star 2 is probably the greatest RPG ever made.
about 2 years ago
Pretty much spot on as far as I’m concerned.
Is any one else as un excited about FF13 as I am? Maybe I’ve just outgrown the series, but as far as I’m concerned it peaked when FF10 did what was seemingly impossible and blew away 3 and 7 combined. Hey, wait, maybe that means that FF20 will blow 3, 7, and 10 away. I probably only need to wait another 20 years or so…
about 2 years ago
I liked FF7, but annoyingly enough I can’t make it run under XP, where FF8 which uses only a very slightly later version of the same launcher can.
about 2 years ago
Strangely, FF1 is my favorite. 2 was okay once I figured out how to cheat the stat system and overpower myself (note to self: do hit points before weapons). IV was fun at the time. Just re-played 6 this past month and the angst\whining still annoys me, but it’s still a good time.
about 2 years ago
“Just re-played 6 this past month and the angst\whining still annoys me, but it’s still a good time.”
Kefka still ranks as one of the most entertaining video game villains of all time.
Hwa-hwa-hwa!
about 2 years ago
FF X-2 reminded me of King’s Quest 7.
about 2 years ago
Who would put Relm in the final group fighting Kefka? Noob.
about 2 years ago
Relm with Ultima is just as good as any other character with the spell (probably better since her magic power is higher by default unless you grind it up).
about 2 years ago
I only played FF1 – after that, I figured I’d done the Final Fantasy experience and didn’t need to pay for 57 more games.