Broken
Toys
Random comments about
games and tractors
Conservatives: Making Hillary Clinton Look Good Since 1999
I know that they all probably assume they have better, much more important, urgent, timely, things to campaign on, but I sure would like to get their individual takes on the new video game that one company is marketing to fifteen year old boys.
It’s called “Mass Effect” and it allows its players – universally male no doubt – to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived. One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to “engage” and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game “persons” hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.
With it’s “over the net” capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.
Leaving aside for the moment the very real possibility that this whole piece may be cynically constructed simply to get as much outraged publicity and banner ad hits beforehand (hint: go here first), I refer you to the tag line in Mr. McCullough’s “About” page for his very aptly named “Musclehead” blog:
Show me how a man thinks, and I will tell you how he will behave.
So, given that, and given the thought processes betrayed by that blog entry, I’d advise those of you readers that happen to be female to be very careful before being alone in a room with this man.
Mr. McCullough continues to talk about things he clearly knows little about, including claming somehow that character customization equals sex abuse.
Look, if the Gamer-Nerds need their pervy outlets to find true release and inner peace – then make them drive to the outskirts of town and be forced to frequent those places that no one wants in the community to get them. By properly removing sexually explicit material from Best Buy, Circuit City, and Wal-Mart we take a step (one that did not need to be explained only a few years ago) in pushing back against the tidal wave of trashy cheap sex that society has ruled harmless, and thus meaningless.
Penny Arcade has calm, reasoned comment.
| Print article |
about 2 years ago
Subtext:
“Why, when I was their age, I had to get my porn the old-fashioned way – stealing it from my Dad’s barber shop! Kids these days with their Interweb tubes and their Nintendo Wees…”
about 2 years ago
I’ve clearly been playing it wrong.
Nice to know the GOP is anti-PK though.
about 2 years ago
“Look, if the Gamer-Nerds need their pervy outlets to find true release and inner peace – then make them drive to the outskirts of town and be forced to frequent those places that no one wants in the community to get them. By properly removing sexually explicit material from Best Buy, Circuit City, and Wal-Mart we take a step (one that did not need to be explained only a few years ago) in pushing back against the tidal wave of trashy cheap sex that society has ruled harmless, and thus meaningless.”
I can see it now, millions of 15 year old boys fapping all over the place, even online with each other!
Friggin crap man, I can guarantee if you go down the magazine aisle in Wal-Mart that you will find at least 10 magazines with better fap material than anything the game can produce.
I hate old people with their redundant over protectiveness. I mean shit, the games have those fucking ratings because parents didn’t want to do their jobs as, you know, PARENTS. Now they’re getting even lazier! We don’t even want to have to worry about the ratings that we made a big fuckin fuss about a few years ago. Can’t we just live our lives as if we didn’t even have children?! LIFE’S SO UNFAIR!
Gdamnit.
about 2 years ago
Wow. And to think I had passed up Mass Effect. I gotta get that!
about 2 years ago
1: He forgot to mention you can do it with an alien. An alien who helped steal a ship, making her an illegal alien. She’s also ambiguously gendered, making it sort of kind of resemble homosexual sex depending on how you draw the line. It’s like the conservative trifecta.
2: Role playing games are probably some of the most effective tools we have for preventing sex. For every kid that doesn’t gag at the romances in Mass Effect there are thousands of unwashed raiders chasing one married girl on Ventrilo.
about 2 years ago
I was a little confused by his… review? … rant? … pent up sexual energy?
Then I read the discussion page on wikipedia and things became a little more clear.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Mass_Effect#Sex
about 2 years ago
Aw, Kwip, don’t ya love me anymore? Buy my game! Maybe it’s NOT a sci-fi orgy simulator, but you *do* get to punch out a reporter with an agenda!
about 2 years ago
If this McCullough fellow isn’t 100% Certified Grade-AAA Angus YMCA Beefhunk Closeted or Repressed Homosexual, I’m going to chop off my wiiwii with one of my Global knives and staple it to my forehead.
about 2 years ago
don’t feed the monkeys
about 2 years ago
The column (and the columnist) are from Townhall.com, which means nothing but “this guy said something insightful on some topic once and Townhall read it so they gave him a ‘column’ to stay ahead of the Intertubes 2.0 curve.”
Without knowing who he is, I’d say chances are pretty good this column was probably read more widely read than everything else he’s ever written combined going back to his high school homework and construction-paper books in kindergarten.
It’s not even him being wrong that bothers me so much as him a) thinking the topic is appropriate for legislation and b) exercising the willful idiocy needed to pretend that a presidential candidate would be able to make a concrete, sincere, constitutionally passable promise to do anything about it.
about 2 years ago
Sigh…stupid Google. Looks like I was wrong, he’s apparently the “heir apparent” to James Dobson (not to say James Devlin of Oz) and Pat Robertson.
Which makes me feel better, for a second I thought he was influential.
In any case, L’Emmerdeur’s comment says it all. He almost sounds jealous.
about 2 years ago
Now Tycho and Gabe have gone and made a comic about this guy
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/01/15
about 2 years ago
Talkin’ ’bout my g-g-generashuuuuuuuuuun!
about 2 years ago
teh?
Pardon me.. My head will now explode in a pink mist.
about 2 years ago
Do to list:
-Look up definition of “steamy”
-Look up definition of “alien”
-Look up definition of “lesbian sex”
-Buy Mass Effect
about 2 years ago
Good lord, I thought “cheap trashy sex” was just one of the available flavors. Like “praline pecan” or “strawberry” down at the Baskin Robbins.
NO MORE BANANA NUT FOR YOU!
about 2 years ago
One guy’s silly rant about a game does not make Hillary look good. Nothing on earth can make Hillary look good.
Nor does one guy represent “conservatives” as a whole. By that logic Tipper Gore represents all liberals.
about 2 years ago
That’s what’s wrong with this country.
Sex = bad
Guns, violence and blood = good.
Wanna know why half of half/most of us behave like we are bi-polar?
about 2 years ago
This guy is just a troll with his own blog. If you are a conservative, or better yet, an evangelical conservative, you should be furious with this guy. He does not represent all conservatives, but he is trying to sound like he does. I would not want such a clown representing me.
about 2 years ago
Honestly, I’m tired of this crap. This sort of anti-video game spiel is utterly predictable and gamer responses to these spiels are also utterly predictable.
The only people who agree with garbage like that can’t be reasoned with anyway, so the proper thing to do is just ignore them. Nothing short of locking them in a room without writing implements or keyboards will prevent them from making this kind of rant. But no, people just have to shoot back. And because his argument is complete nonsense, there’s nothing to shoot back at, so a straw man has to be made. That straw man is “conservatism” or “the (American, it’s always America’s fault) culture of violence” or “Christianity.” It’s just as ugly one way as the other.
about 2 years ago
@ Viz
I entirely agree.
about 2 years ago
If the only argument an entirely unenlightened and uninformed person has is a straw man, then fight against it. There is no ugliness to be had in argument opposed to idiocy. We all know he’s clearly wrong, tell him so, tell everyone else as well. Poor colloquy should be shot down by the voices of reason before it’s allowed to gain any steam.
Also in response to Viz, predictability doesn’t enter into the equation. We agree that he’s full of shit. But that should never preclude us from stating that he is, and informing everyone that we can of the truth. Honesty is in short commodity, but when one side has a stronger argument they need to yell it as loudly as possible.
We don’t make the case that violence in video games causes real violence. They do, though, whenever it suits their cause. Ignoring it, no matter how tired the debate is, is not an option.
about 2 years ago
Somebody should introduce this guy to Jack Thompson, then they’d at least have something other than video games to release their pent up frustrations on.
about 2 years ago
Yeah, I got some creepy overtones from Mr. My Pants Are Too Tight’s little complaint.
On a side note, honestly, it may be time to add some additional vectors to the whole right/left political scheme. Maybe make it a three-dimensional grid. Because this guy? Not that conservative. Screaming for the government to ‘fix this’ = you fail basic rightism 101, which is: the government is not your friend.
Maybe authoritarianism vs anarchism on a vertical axis… hm.
Wait, this is starting to resemble D&D’s alignment system. Gah.
–TR
about 2 years ago
This post is very hot, it is high ranked at our site (daily weblog, weblog post ranking site). See http://indirect3.blogspot.com/ for more infomation
about 2 years ago
So porn is bad by lying is ok?
about 2 years ago
argh I meant “but lying” not by. /bonk
about 2 years ago
Funny, I had no idea I was “universally male”. I was female last time I checked, and Mass Effect is an excellent game.
Then again, I do not engage in “hunping everything in sight” with my avatar, so maybe I’m missing out on an even better time.
about 2 years ago
Please, that’s great in principle but in practice it’s foolishness. There’s no point in calling him a moron because you can’t attack the logic of his “argument.” Reasonable people will have come to that conclusion on their own–the only things you can accomplish by opening your mouth are to make yourself look stupid, and make me exasperated because I already heard your message the last time. Unreasonable people will be unswayed by your words.
Stupidity is ubiquitous; you need to save your breath for causes not yet lost or you will swiftly be overwhelmed.
about 2 years ago
I suspect his reasoning is that it is a video game, and therefore, duh.
Back in my day, only 15 year olds played video games, you see. And we tied an onion to our belts, because that was the style at the time. Not a white onion, but a brown onion, on account of the war.
I wouldn’t read too much into his looking at Mass Effect clips on YuoTube and feeling qualified to express his opinions regarding video games, rape, and 15 year old boys. He’s quite obviously a conservative, and if visiting a public restroom isn’t implied consent, why then golly-heck, mister – just what is>?
I guess I agree with Viz, here. Attacking him is too easy. That’s why I chose to defend him, instead.
about 2 years ago
Humping everything that moves is a pretty accurate description of the Witcher, however.
about 2 years ago
He’s quite obviously a conservative, but then he’s also quite obviously crazy (or unethical, or likely both). What does conservatism have to do with it? “Conservatives” are hardly the only people to ever go on scaremongering tirades, unless you pull a fast one and choose to define the term that way. Politics would (in theory–I can’t name a time in history when people were above this) get better if people could agree to just ignore the nutjobs instead of using them to try to score points off each other.
about 2 years ago
I’m not saying that at all.
I’m saying they don’t have sex with women, and the public toilet rendezvous they have with men are consensual, so the idea of him being a rape threat is a little far-fetched.
(And before you say it – I know they aren’t the only people who have homosexual sex – I’m not saying that, either!)
about 2 years ago
You know, I just played through Indigo Prophecy, and that interface would be *perfect* for selecting different stances when you’re in an airport bathroom.
about 2 years ago
Don’t feed the troll. Why oh why oh WHY can’t people resist feeding the troll? This man should be ignored. It twists my stomach as much as the next gamer’s to hear the ignorance in this man’s writing – but the people who reply to his post with things like ‘you should be beaten to death with your own bible you homosexual rapist’ really aren’t helping. If you must reply to people like this, give a calm, reasoned ‘your wrong and here’s why’ and leave it at that. Nothing more needs to said – flame fests just make people dig in their heels and close their eyes tighter. If you can’t help but insult, try a simpler ‘lolz o rly?’. This man’s post is a joke, and should be treated as such, not linked to by every blog as some sort of ‘threat to games’. I hate big business – but big business looks after its market. Game’s aren’t going anywhere, not while there’s money to be made – so relax, laugh at him, show him he’s wrong if you must and Don’t Feed The Troll.
about 2 years ago
“Why oh why oh WHY can’t people resist feeding the troll?”
Because feeding trolls is fun. Pretty simple really.