Broken Toys

Sad, really.

Eve: They’re all phallic objects.
Eve: Our Women Are Huge.
Eve: we has a flavor
Eve: We Hated Bioshock, Too

Clearly, this a company willing to do the things required to keep the customer happy. Even the whiney bastards that post on VN.

“Here at Eve, we make every effort to satisfy our customers. Even if that means doing things we don’t talk about outside of the small conference room downstairs. Come try Eve.”

“Come taste Eve. Free play, if’n you know what I mean.”

I’m tempted to photoshop a reversal: a penis being mouthed by a techno-chick.

Are you sure that’s not supposed to be an ad for Second Life?

You must have missed the loading screen pic they used on valintines day.

Well that certainly won’t get me to play Eve.

Wow, she has such even teeth? How do they do that? Are those natural?

I think the Glamour Bunnies had something to do with this. Kaleigh Doyle would be proud.

Wow. Just wow.

What a let down actually starting the game will be if you buy the game from just that ad alone.

While that ad isn’t anywhere near what I’d call sexy, it is 100x sexier than EVE.

Dear Female Gamer,

Not yours.

Sincerely, EVE.

What are they trying to say with this ad? That Eve is “sexy”? That sexy women play Eve? That, by playing Eve, I’ll get my helmet waxed?

I’m so confused…

It’s not sexy unless you can see her boobies.

I seem to remember 6% of their playerbase are women.

… Wow. Got linked to this from a friend.

I haven’t seen this ad, and I’m wondering just what those guys were smoking if they actually put this out there.

But I’ll say this: It puts a whole new meaning behind the phrase “going down with the ship.”

This is kinda like those ads on TV where you see random scenes for 29 seconds then, at the end, they go “The Gap”, and you think “Huh?”

Tells me nothing about Eve…I have less desire to play it now eve.

“Captain! Our ship is caught in some sort of tractor beam!”

“On screen! My God! Look at that thing! What is that hideous fanged maw? More power to the engines, we have to break free!”

“I canna give you any more power, Captain!”

“We’re all doomed!”

Eve Online:
It’s like watching Robocop get a blowjob!

Awesome!

-Cheers

As editor for the upcoming EVE pencil and paper game, I view this as yet another way my Icelandic coworkers are planning to die my mans.

They should’ve used the Thorax ship in the ad ;p.

Anyone here remember the old cartoon from the late 70’s / early 80’s called Star Blazers?

Is it just me or does the Rokh bear at least a passing resemblance to the ship in the cartoon, only really missing the big cannon in the front used to destroy… well… anything in its path?

Something freudian about this whole thing, can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s definately there.