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You Never Hear About This With Strategy Games


Users are reporting that the Nintendo Wii causes people to flail around and break random things.

Fear not, Zeldans, for Nintendo is ON THE CASE.

“We are investigating. Some people are getting a lot more excited than we\’e2\’80\’99d expected. We need to better communicate to people how to deal with Wii as a new form of entertainment.”

The message is clear. Stop being excited.

Now, see, if the Wii taught you discipline? This wouldn’t be happening.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 8th, 2006 and is filed under Geek, _. You can follow any responses to this entry through RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

  1. #1 by Bman on December 8th, 2006

    I’m just glad they were careful not to give anyone the wrong idea about how it should be used. Because if they’d been advertising it with a bunch of people jumping over furniture and thrashing about like damn retarded monkeys, then we’d REALLY be in trouble.

  2. #2 by TPRJones on December 8th, 2006

    I can’t quite figure out the mechanics of it, but if you could combine the antics of the Wiimote with the insanity of Guitar Hero, I think someone somewhere would explode.

  3. #3 by Kohs on December 8th, 2006

    I’m going to patent and market a pinetar for Wii controllers.
    I’ll call it Wii-tar.

    Not to be confused with the GWiitar, Guitar Hero’s next-gen, Wii-based controller.

    *dives into a pile of money*

  4. #4 by Michael Neel on December 8th, 2006

    I have a Wii. The people breaking things are idiots. It hardly takes any force at all to have the Wii pick-up motions. You can play sitting down.

    Anyone from here on out caught breaking something because they used more force to swing the remote than required for an *actual* baseball bat, tennis racket, or bowling ball is henceforth a “Wiitard”

    (ps – notice how the remote is *okay* even after slamming it though a plasma screen? That’s props to nintendo for quality craftsmanship imho)

    Scott – EQ2 has a free trial going (and game + all expansion packs for $40); FireFly MMO has been announced (and they will do by 2008 because they have a better systems) – and nothing from you… seems like you’re phoning it in =p

  5. #5 by No.6 on December 8th, 2006

    “FireFly MMO has been announced”

    Link please! Who is doing this one?

    (Sidenote: If people thought Star Wars fans could rant, they’ve seen nothng yet. God help this team if one bit of Mandarin or other canon material is out of place, the brownshirts will have them for lunch).

  6. #6 by Evangolis on December 8th, 2006

  7. #7 by Ken Sykora on December 8th, 2006

    If you read the bottom of the Kutaragi article, it says that the discipline quote is a fake.

  8. #8 by VPellen on December 8th, 2006

    “(ps – notice how the remote is *okay* even after slamming it though a plasma screen? That\’e2\’80\’99s props to nintendo for quality craftsmanship imho)”

    Ahh, Nintendo plastic. The hardest substance known to man.

  9. #9 by MechaCrash on December 8th, 2006

    I’ll spare you the link to the Penny Arcade “toolbox” strip, but sometimes swinging the thing around does make sense. I can play tennis just fine with my ass in the chair and just moving my wrist, but I can’t seem to play golf or baseball for crap.

    Maybe if the cord that connected the big sturdy wrist strap to the indestructible Wiimote weren’t made of tissue paper, this’d be less of an issue.

  10. #10 by KEtCHUP on December 9th, 2006

    i beat zelda.

    snape kills dumbledore. again.

    So far my wii remote has hit: A fan, the ceiling, the wall, concrete, a marble table thingy, a closet door, and a cat. Oh, and if I have the strap on, and I reach for a soda, I’ve knocked it over twice now.

    I didn’t “lose” it any of these times, I’ve been using my Wii as a chick magnet. It actually works. Careful for your stuff though, girls don’t like to wear the wrist strap.

    Nothing broke, including the wii remote and the cat, so more props to Nintendo. I’m glad I didn’t go out and buy a huge flat panel to play this thing on, cuz it probably would have broken by now. Thanks Murphy. I’m glad I met you years ago.

  11. #11 by almagill on December 9th, 2006

    Then you see this and think “is it any wonder??”

  12. #12 by Boanerges on December 11th, 2006

    Maybe if the cord that connected the big sturdy wrist strap to the indestructible Wiimote weren\’e2\’80\’99t made of tissue paper, this\’e2\’80\’99d be less of an issue.

    Actually, in this case, Nintendo has opted for an old school MMO dev team trick: quietly fix the problem and backtrack from there

  13. #13 by Knurd on December 11th, 2006

    As much as I think the Wiimote or wahtever is an interesting idea, I can’t help having my mind itched with that other principle of most games, being the elimination of the ‘victim of birth’.

    Sure, most gamers need more exercise. And even though the actual stimulus/response of the Wii might not involve that much true effort, it still inhibits a portion of the playerbase by being a physically dependant system, unlike so many games before.

    Am I just being too senstive to cripples?

    Not with that last comment, I’m not. heh.

  14. #14 by Bob on December 11th, 2006

    I have a morbidly obese co-worker who has already figured out that he can sit in his recliner and perform all the actions with small wrist motions.

    I guess this might apply to more than the Wii.

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