Checking my referral logs, I noticed something amidst the flotsam of spam fake referrals, google searches for Jessica Chobot porn, and the odd message board post:
Part of this is, of course, my iron-fisted rule over the Scott Jennings community as ranked by Google. So I can see where some whining is warranted. Justified even. I mean, we can’t all be the duly appointed representative of the Jennings clan, right? Sadly, in the end there can only be one official Google-approved Scott Jennings, and it is a mantle I wearily bear.
But, come on. King of the Dorks? From an improv comic director who writes an e/n blog? Sure, he probably goes outside once in a while, and has actual “friends” he “talks about” and a “real life” outside of “levelling video game characters“. But is that any reason to indulge in base name calling? Surely, we in the Jennings-based community can rise above that, and be an example to those benighted folk unfortunate enough to not be named Scott Jennings. We are made of sterner stuff, and held to a higher calling. Like it or not, we Scott Jennings must, as we understand that Jennings is both possessive and singular, understand how this can become a metaphor for life itself.
In the end, we must focus our awe-inspiring Jennings fury on the real enemy – the pedophile Scott Jennings, which Google safely has ensconced away on Page 3. And as King of the Dorks, I decree that there he shall remain. So shall it be written, so shall it be done!
#1 by D-0ne on November 21st, 2006
But but but… I’m the evil one.
#2 by Vandemar on November 21st, 2006
I’m Spartacus!
#3 by Freakazoid on November 21st, 2006
Et tu, Jennings?
#4 by Toma Levine on November 21st, 2006
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone quite so worked up over the fact that he is not a beautiful and unique snowflake. Perhaps he should consider legally changing his name to Torquetwister Maladroxy or somesuch.
#5 by jid on November 21st, 2006
This is by far and away the funniest post since these things were called rant sites.
#6 by Xyntar on November 21st, 2006
I don’t think anyone that has Justin Timberlake playing on his myspace has the right to name anyone “King of the Dorks”.
Of course, you could cut out “Justin Timberlake playing on his” and it would also remain a true statement in my opinion.
#7 by damijin on November 21st, 2006
I wanted to post “Hey, are you the Scott Jennings that works at NCsoft? I’m a huge fan of your work! Can you take a look at these design docs for me?”
However, as one might expect, the inferior Jennings does not allow comments.
#8 by concerningluke on November 21st, 2006
King of the Losers, but still King!
#9 by Evangolis on November 22nd, 2006
Looking at his home page, one would think he would be at least somewhat satisfied with having driven you from the East Coast, where he may now rampage freely as Scott Jennings.
#10 by Boanerges on November 22nd, 2006
Easy solution: legally change your name to Lum the Mad. Would be worth it, if for no other reason than to watch Richard Garriott’s head explode. Of course that would probably prove Scott Jenning’s point as well.
#11 by BugHunter on November 22nd, 2006
I wonder how he’ll feel when he discovers his highest referrer this month was the mighty king of dorks himself.
#12 by Mandlar on November 22nd, 2006
How about a caged match to the death? Two Scott Jennings enter, only one can leave!
#13 by Mandella on November 22nd, 2006
Hate to tell you, but with Safe Search off, the pedophile ranks number one.
Not that that should surprise, I suppose….
#14 by scottj on November 22nd, 2006
#13, the #1 entry is this blog. Talking about the pedophile. It’s like a metafestival!
#15 by Scott Jennings on November 23rd, 2006
I have a crush on Scott Jennings.
#16 by J. on November 23rd, 2006
All is going according to plan.
#17 by Njal on November 23rd, 2006
It’s like a Scott Jennings doublemint commercial,two, two, two for the price of one…
#18 by Slyfeind on November 23rd, 2006
Holy crap that’s awesome. Whenever I google my name, I get some guy who died in the WTC attack….
#19 by TPRJones on November 23rd, 2006
I wish my own name club was more exclusive. Sure, we’ve got the voice of Darth Vader and a guy famous for discovering fun new uses for kool-aid, but there’s just so MANY of us.
Can I be Scott Jennings, too?
#20 by KEtCHUP on November 23rd, 2006
ROFL man this is great.
“so let it be known that Scott Jennings is #1 and Scott Jennings is #2 and the rest of you Scott Jennings can line the fuck up behind us. (Not so fast, British pedophile.)”
#21 by Psychochild on November 23rd, 2006
Just change your name to something more common like, oh, “Brian Green” and watch the confusion start!
#22 by Aufero on November 23rd, 2006
Searching for my name produces ~35,000,000 references to the chairman of the FCC, several dubiously talented musicians, and a basketball player – but no pedophiles!
At least we have numerical superiority over the Jennings clan.
#23 by sinij on November 23rd, 2006
The only sane thing left to do – legally change your name to Jesus.
#24 by Evangolis on November 26th, 2006
Hmmm, a search on my name produces no hits at all. As far as the intrenet is concerned, I do not exist. This is probably a good thing.
#25 by Tess on November 27th, 2006
Hey, if you’re King of the Dorks, does that mean we can bring dork petitions to you? I would like to petition for a bigger HDTV to use as my computer monitor. It’ll be awesome. Trust me.
#26 by scottj on November 27th, 2006
As King of the Dorks, we can tell you that 1080p works really well! You can use an HDTV as your monitor, we give you dispensation. (Note: you will have to acquire said monitor yourself. We cannot concern ourselves with such trivialities.)
#27 by D Lacey on November 27th, 2006
so…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Jones
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Martin
have disambiguation pages; but
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scott_Jennings just redirects to an article entitled Lum the Mad…
my only Google namesake seems to be a California cattle rancher and local politician. fun
#28 by Scott A. Jennings on May 3rd, 2007
Hi Scott,
I guess I am about at #5 in the Google order. I don’t have much of a web presence, but doing sound for movies gets me some attention. I’ve enjoyed some of your postings and have even ordered your book. I thought I could leave it on my desk to confuse my friends.