Broken Toys

This is some kind of very clever parody of gaming journalism.

You know you’re in trouble when your gaming is interrupted by a scream of “come on you f**kers, who’s first?” Things generally go south from there if, when you turn around, you find a completely naked man with a giant erection standing in the middle of the room, beckoning for someone to come over and sit on his lap.

“What the f**k?” I said, turning to my opponent in a now paused game of Rise of Nations. He laughed and leaned towards me so that our crazed colleague couldn’t hear – quite unnecessary, as he was now loudly harassing someone at the far end of the room – and said, with that glint in his eye and half choked laughter in his throat, “we spiked his soup with sextasy.”

“What the f**k is sextasy?” I asked, ever the innocent farm boy.

“It’s E[ecstasy] and Viagra,” my opponent turned guru explained. “E can make you go limp, which is a bitch because it makes everything feel so much better. Mix E with Viagra, though, and you solve that problem.”

Yes, I am frequently accosted by large priapic men while playing real time strategy games.

Those ritalin junkies at Corpnews have more.\’c2\~