Yes, but will it be balanced for PvP on release?

by Scott Jennings on July 27, 2006

For those of you who think that every film, no matter how low budget, deserves its own multi-million dollar MMO project to enhance synergy, this one is for you:

Babysitter Wanted: The MMO.

No. REALLY.

“I’m extremely pleased with the deal we’ve made to produce the MMO,” commented Big Screen CEO, Kimberley Kates. “We are working with top notch developers and programmers who will adapt the most exciting and game worthy set pieces from our upcoming motion picture, ‘Babysitter Wanted.’ And the cross marketing potential for both the game and film is phenomenal.”

For those of you laughing at the thought of a Hollywood production company that proudly displays its 11c stock asking price on every page of its site tackling the Sisyphean task of launching a client-server application with thousands of simultaneous users, I bring you the wisdom of this veteran MMO developer:

The point is video games have become incredibly easy to create through the use of advanced API\’e2\’80\’99s. Carmack had it so incredibly hard making Doom and Quake because he didn\’e2\’80\’99t have these things (for the original version of Quake) to work with. What is an MMORPG? It’s a Quake type game with advance netcode.

And unlike GL-Jeff, if all else fails, Ms. Kates does have the resources of a well-known charitable organization to call on.

Note: Rowdy Roddy Piper’s RTS still isn’t out.

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Pander July 27, 2006 at 4:12 pm  (Quote)

Is there a “50-year old male calling on a 14-year old babysitter falsely in order to lure her to his house so he can kidnap her and make a suit out of her skin” class with release?

ubvman July 27, 2006 at 4:22 pm  (Quote)

Oh hush up Lum!
DONT YOU REALISE THAT THERES A COMPANY AT STEAK???!1?1!!

Amber July 27, 2006 at 4:44 pm  (Quote)

Damn, you beat me to the punch. I saw it here, and I love this quote:

BSEG will roll out the game in two separate stages. Initially, a working MMO will be released within the next twelve months. The game’s platform will be constantly updated offering subscribers new challenges and character options.

In phase two, the game will be upgraded to “Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game” (MMORPG). MMORPGs give users the ability to role play inside the real time virtual world as well as play against others. BSEG will concurrently make the game compatible for the popular XBOX, PlayStation 3, and comparable platforms as well.

Um…

Tide July 27, 2006 at 4:53 pm  (Quote)

yes, lives are at steak. Another well thought out business case.

Here’s the thing about API’s: they’re not magik. And new ones often have bugs. And bugs in API’s are harder to resolve if you’re just go-go implementation. There’s um, other layers and stuff you need to do.

Anyways.

In other news, Smed had his stalker removed (cf. GW today).

Dave Rickey July 27, 2006 at 5:02 pm  (Quote)

Good News! MMO is the new magic buzzword! Every entertainment business prospectus/movie treatment/press release now has to include a few bullet points about how they are going to cash into some of that WoW money.

–Dave

Boanerges July 27, 2006 at 5:20 pm  (Quote)

Hey, I just figured what this all about.

1. Shadowbane flops
2. Wolf Pack renames to Stray bullet
3. B-movie director hears “MMOG” at a party and wants one. And one for his girlfriend. Someone drops SBS as a potential source
4. SBS promises “PVP done right” for this horror flick of a game. Director gets Hollywood types to invest
5. BSWO (an MMOG) premeires as a buggy PVP game complete with minotaurs and catapaults to use on suburban neighborhoods with babysitters. The director loves it although he doesn’t remember adding minotaurs to the movie
6. Movie flops
7. Game flounders
8. EA, now picking its teeth with Mythic, snaps up SBS
9. PROFIT

So it all makes sense.

chabuhi July 27, 2006 at 5:29 pm  (Quote)

Please, God … this can’t be happening…

D-0ne July 27, 2006 at 6:02 pm  (Quote)

If I would just give up my ethics and morals, I too could be a millionaire with a company worth $0.11/share stock.

Abalieno July 27, 2006 at 6:08 pm  (Quote)

What is interesting is that despite mmorpgs becoming mainstream trends the good ones can still be counted on one hand.

VPellen July 27, 2006 at 6:49 pm  (Quote)

For some reason, this reminds me of an announcement for a sex MMO that I saw here a while back.

I haven’t heard about that one since its original announcement, either.

God I love this industry.

Evangolis July 27, 2006 at 7:33 pm  (Quote)

So when do the project management APIs come out?

nerd.gone.bad July 27, 2006 at 7:36 pm  (Quote)

cuz that mmo.com bubble gravy train is just so profitable. it’ll be just like WoW…but with like Babysitters.

Amaranthar July 27, 2006 at 10:55 pm  (Quote)

Uranus has 27 moons, and a good percentage of them are full at any given time.

Hey, it’s the best explanation I can come up with.

Wendelius July 28, 2006 at 4:02 am  (Quote)

I… erm… Will they support male baby sitters? Do we get to play the babies? Can baby sitters buff the babies by entertaining them in the living room?

So many questions. So much… potential? *rolls on the floor laughing*

Wendelius

Jurrasic July 28, 2006 at 4:03 am  (Quote)

So after the earthquakes, tsunamis, military invasions in the middle east and MMOGs from babysitting movies….how many signs do we have left before God calls down the Apocalypse and delivers a hard-reboot to Planet Earth???

tazelbain July 28, 2006 at 9:40 am  (Quote)

It’s so simple even a caveman could do it.

Double D July 28, 2006 at 12:41 pm  (Quote)

Clowns with money crack me up.

ehh July 30, 2006 at 6:34 am  (Quote)

I hear there will be fetapult mounts, confirm/deny

Jessica Mulligan July 31, 2006 at 4:16 am  (Quote)

Welcome again to April of 1994, when US business folk first “discovered” online games and MMOs and started development on over 130 of them. By November of 1996, they had opened a rate hole and thrown over $300 million into it before stopping development on 120 of them and retreating in confusion.

I suspect the same thing will happen again, but on a grander scale – larger rat hole, more money thrown. As a consultant, I spend a lot of time these days doing diligence on MMO proposals for angel investors and VCs, most of which proposals are so laughable that they make the BSW-MMO project look positively sane (“We can build our WoW killer, Belly Button Lint Warrior Online, from scratch in 18 months for $4 million”).

You’d be shocked at how many of them actually get a million or two to throw away.

Jason Ballew July 31, 2006 at 9:59 am  (Quote)

While I can’t even get $5k to finance getting a MCSA. :D Go fig.

Ebay hot items August 3, 2008 at 1:58 am  (Quote)

Very interesting site, i have added it to my fovourites. Greetings

VPellen August 3, 2008 at 9:20 am  (Quote)

I HAVE ADDED IT TO MY FOVOURITES

Leave a Comment


You can now leave comments using your Facebook or Twitter account, or you can supply your name/handle/jolly pirate nickname and email here.
Emails are used in the (very unlikely) event I need to contact you and are never disclosed to third parties for any reason.

Connect with Facebook

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: