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Warning: toxic stupidity


So, like, MMOs are rilly long and I’m, like, rilly got other stuff to do, mkay? So you guys need to, like, stop making them. Mkay?

I don’t watch G4. I only pray this is some kind of parody. I’m afraid it isn’t.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 16th, 2006 and is filed under Stupidity, _. You can follow any responses to this entry through RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

  1. #1 by Tom on May 16th, 2006

    I saw Ms Webb on the DVD extras for Doom talking about the legacy of the video games and confess I figured she was quite hawt. And let’s face it, any site which is going to rate the Booth Babes (http://www.g4tv.com/pile_player.aspx?video_key=11256) or give “Home Hints” from adult film stars can’t be all bad. Can it?

    Anyway, she might have a point.

  2. #2 by Rasputin on May 16th, 2006

    Clearly you’ve never watched Morgan blather ever, because she really means it.

    She really is that dumb.

  3. #3 by Blake on May 16th, 2006

    I don’t know … I mean I can see her point in one regard, there are FAR too many in production that aren’t really anything new. I like the comment about stop following trends and make some, that really hits the nail on the head.

  4. #4 by scottj on May 16th, 2006

    Well, sure, if you think “embrace synergy” is a good business goal.

  5. #5 by funtax on May 16th, 2006

    “Stop following trends and start SETTING them. Athletes, stop playing games and just WIN them. Police officers, stop investigating crimes and just stop LETTING there be criminals. And doctors, stop treating diseases and just CURE them. I mean, like, DUH.”

    Truly useful (and utterly FRESH) advice for everyone, everywhere. I’m going to go bang my head against a wall now.

  6. #6 by Xanthippe on May 16th, 2006

    “Hello Kitty”?

  7. #7 by Hellfire on May 16th, 2006

    Think outside the box. Shift the paradigm. Embrace your verticle synnergies.

    This shit is easy, yo. I shold get a TV show where all I do is tell people they suck and they should innovate and whatnot. I’m sure they’ve NEVER thought of that before. The sad thing is whomever is actually writing the X-Play reviews usually gets things pretty spot-on.

    I could give two shits about innovation. What I really, REALLY want is a professional, polished game that’s released “when it’s done” instead of when accounting projected it on a spreadsheet 3 years ago.

    Half-Life/2 wasn’t innovative. It was 1 in a kergillion derivative FPSes. It just did it 150% better than anyone else. Ditto WoW. TA? Any list I can come up with of the “best games ever” has very few titles that actually broke new ground. There’s only so many Katamari’s possible…

  8. #8 by Xyntar on May 16th, 2006

    Well, “The Pile” is a pretty apt description of G4. She, in particular, is pretty much worthless.

  9. #9 by Odie on May 16th, 2006

    I’m suprised she didn’t get a nosebleed, seeing as how she was so high up on that soapbox. That’s some of the dumbest tripe I’ve ever heard uttered by someone who is supposed to, y’know, actually KNOW stuff about video games. But she still has dem nice cans, so she isn’t all bad.

  10. #10 by Eso on May 16th, 2006

    Ugh. Morgan Webb.

  11. #11 by scottj on May 16th, 2006

    Well, an article that appeared recently (http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/games/crash.html) noted that there really are only two types of games when you really deconstruct them: soothing eye-hand coordination (Tetris, Lumines, Pac-Man) and imaginative immersion (everything else). I’d add eye-candy (Ikaruga) and competition (online shooters, PVP MMOs) to that, but in general there’s not a lot of innovation you CAN do in games. In other news Aristotle says there are only six possible plot lines in drama. So there.

  12. #12 by krones on May 16th, 2006

    Did Morgan Webb hurt Lum’s feelings? Now, now, back to pilfering and implementing concepts from Shadowbane. ;)

  13. #13 by Dom on May 16th, 2006

    The funny thing is, Abalieno says everything she did every week!

  14. #14 by damijin on May 16th, 2006

    I can’t get the video to load, but I assume it was that “Morgan Minute” from their mind-numbing e3 coverage, right?

    I got a bit defensive when I heard it too. But on the other hand, she was forced to do like a million of those minute segments, and it probably just seemed like a random thing to rant about, nothing to be taken personally :D

    I can see why game reviewers wouldn’t be the biggest MMO fans though. They’re hard to review… they’re almost all exactly the same for the first 10 hours of gameplay, and if you actually want to get a feel for the “end game” you’d have to be playing the game as a hobby, not as a reviewer. It’s a tough genre for them.

  15. #15 by HitNRun on May 16th, 2006

    “I can see why game reviewers wouldn\’e2\’80\’99t be the biggest MMO fans though. They\’e2\’80\’99re hard to review\’e2\’80\’a6 they\’e2\’80\’99re almost all exactly the same for the first 10 hours of gameplay.”

    Probably. And while it’s easy for us to just laugh off the 90% of formulaic MMOs that some pinhead convinced some richer pinhead would stand a chance in hell of making a return on investment, some people actually have to, you know, play them. Can you imagine how excrutiating it would be to play the early game of EVERY MMO?

    But yeah, for the most part she’s pretty dumb. There’s a problem with all these overlicensed MMOs, but it’s in the people who are going to be playing them- few- not some airhead blather about “trends.”

  16. #16 by Tony Hoyt on May 17th, 2006

    Morgan is basicly repeating what’s been said by every critical reviewer about every genre in video gaming since the begining of time. More inovation, less duplication. It’s nothing new, and while perhaps it comes out a little dumb in this case (To some at least, not me) it’s really her just expressing what a lot of people are saying.. “OMFG Their are a lot of MMOG’s out. And 99% of them are ALL the same.”

    Now, We had this when Diablo came out. We had this when Baulders Gate came out. We had this when Prince of Persa: Sands of Time came out. One good genre rebuilding or defining game comes out, and suddenly 10000x copies comeout. The MMOG world isn’t any diffrent, the problem is, what they are copying is often a model not many of us can really live with.. 10000x hour grinds and mind numbing content.

    But some of the future looks brighter. I’m real curious what Tabula Rasa might look like.

  17. #17 by D-0ne on May 17th, 2006

    She’s not stupid… She’s making a basic point that’s been made over and over again. MMOG are now nearly all identical. Every single one is designed to eat your free time as time seems to be the only limiting factor any MMOG designer can master.

    She’s right, just stop.

  18. #18 by Outdrawn on May 17th, 2006

    Seems like most of your comments juxtapose around the position that she’s not entirely too bright.

    However, it doesn’t take a genius to realize how stagnant, tedious, and downright boring MMOG’s have been since UO. The fact that the market is becoming over saturated with the same tripe doesn’t help, either. If you take offense, chances are you’re part of the problem.

  19. #19 by Tide on May 17th, 2006

    Interesting how games-in-development (i.e. unplayable) she cites. Hype anyone or product placement?

  20. #20 by Hellfire on May 17th, 2006

    They only shill for GameFly.

  21. #21 by Grinless on May 17th, 2006

    She is right, no doubt.

    But she also look like the dumbest gal this side of Azeroth…

  22. #22 by Heartless Gamer on May 17th, 2006

    You can’t have a virtual world with one hour inhabitants. MMORPGs will always require time investment, but the trick for the developers is to reward everyone equally for time invested. If Player A plays 10 hours in a single day and achieves level 10 and 100 gold then I should be able to achieve level 10 and 100 gold playing 10 hours over the span of a week. If Player A spends 50 hours online and gets a full set of epic gear then I should be able to achieve an equal reward in that same amount of time even if it takes me 5 weeks to reach 50 hours.

    Morgan is hitting on the lack of innovation in the MMO space. It’s not really that hard to do with the current state of most of the gaming industries from consoles to the PC. The Nintendo Wii is really the first “lets make waves” attempt in all of the gaming industry. If it suceeds then I have no doubt you will see that trickle and spider outwards into other sectors of the gaming industry… including MMORPGs.

    The biggest problem is early innovators are rarely the ones that suceed. It’s the runnerup that follows along and improves the innovation that makes the big bucks. Someone needs to take risks and for the business suits… thats unacceptable… unless you have Will Wright making your games -_o

  23. #23 by Apache on May 17th, 2006

    Morgan is special

  24. #24 by Kohs on May 17th, 2006

    “You need to stop following trends, and start making some.”

    she might say “like” a lot. but that right there is some damn good advice.

  25. #25 by D-0ne on May 18th, 2006

    “MMORPGs will always require time investment, but the trick for the developers is to reward everyone equally for time invested.”

    A long time ago now a guy who went by the name WintyreFraust wrote this:

    http://www.thisisnotacommunity.org/TheCoreDemographicEncounter.htm

    Time need not be “invested” any more than typing is “invested” in a game.
    There is a completely too much emphasis on “time” when it comes to MMOGs.

  26. #26 by Amaranthar on May 18th, 2006

    I agree, D-One. The equalized time investment strategy in building an MMO is partly so boring because it’s the surest way to dumb down a game.

  27. #27 by Grax on May 19th, 2006

    Um, I’m pretty sure this bimbo isn’t the only one who thinks innovation is good. For those of us who agree with her last few comments… well, there are some more respectable folks saying the same thing much more intelligently (like the people at Manifesto Games), so we don’t have to pay attention to her.

    Also, G4 sucks.

  28. #28 by almagill on May 21st, 2006

    Oh gods, I think that just lobotomised me.

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