So the latest game from the mysterious Orient isn’t “Dead or Alive 5: Can YOU Get Into Kasumi’s Hotpants” or even “Final Fantasy 12: We’re Not Even Trying Any More, Gaijin Suckers. Now Buy More Damned Moogles”. No… now, you get to “Learn From Lei Feng Online”.
No. Really. Not making this up at all.
This -> is Lei Feng. He’s a Hero of the Socialist Chinese Revolution who died at the age of 22 after a short career as a soldier of the People’s Liberation Army helping old ladies cross streets. We know this because Mao Zedong ordered his people to “Learn From Lei Feng”, and since this was the Cultural Revolution, this was not phrased in the form of a question. To this day, Lei Feng is the equivalent of… well, I don’t think there is any Western equivalent. We don’t tell our kids to learn from any icon, except maybe Puff Daddy.
And now we have the online MMO version, “Learn From Lei Feng Online”, which allows you to… mend socks.
Again – not making any of this up. To quote from the original Xinhua story:
“For beginners, sewing and mending socks is the only way to increase experience and to upgrade,” said Jiao Jian, a six-grade pupil in Yuexiu District, quoted by the newspaper.
He then continues.
“Every time you are promoted to a higher level, your clothes will become more average,” he said.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t a translation screw up. The longer you grind, the more you look like everyone else. I guess new users wear designer pastels or something.
And I bet right now you’re asking what the end game is in “Learn From Lei Feng Online.” I’m glad you asked!
He also said he likes to battle against the secret agents mainly. “Sometimes the enemy was very strong. The fight almost exhausted me, so I would go to talk with the Party secretary to replenish my vitality at once.”
“As long as my experience, reputation, skill and loyalty satisfy the game’s criteria, I will win and meet Chairman Mao,” Jiao noted. “I still have several tasks to go through. I will ‘work hard’ and strive to obtain the Chairman’s autograph as soon as I can.”
Yes… if you finally work through all the raids… you can MEET MAO ZEDONG. (No guarantees on what may happen to you then if your avatar is a young female – in real life, Mao believed that deflowering virgins would help him live longer.) But what is Mao like in “Learn From Lei Feng Online”? Is he the godlike Sun King of the cultural revolution?
Or perhaps, being dead for several decades, he has now returned as LICH KING MAO, ready to wreak unholy vengeance on the capitalist warlords!
Or maybe, taking a cue from Japanese anime, it’s not just Mao – it’s MECHA MAO! Fight, Mecha Mao! Fight for Peace and Revolutionary Justice!
I trust, now, you have all learned from Lei Feng. Learned TO DEATH.
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This is the first mmog I’ve heard of that sounded revolutionary. /ducks
Lordy. We always viewed grinding as a metaphor for “RL work”. Now…RL work is pretty much indistinguishable, not just as a metaphor but as a direct comparison, to game-world work.
Just…why? Who’d want to play this?
Recruiting for Tiananmen raid, meet at Forbidden City if interested.
“…The longer you grind, the more you look like everyone else….”
So, it took a page from World of Warcraft, huh?
“I cannot tell a lie” – you don’t teach kids to emulate George Washington?
I think you do.
Be thankful some games are coming out that dont involve chicks in metal bikinis killing trolls.
Perhaps Bioware are working on a game where you play Donald Rumsfeld.
instead of high-level raids, will there be purges where you slaughter helpless peasants for average shiny?
Goe, curious.
Whatever, the gold farmers will ruin the game within a month.
.. Wait..
This article got slashdotted, amazed this page didn’t implode like Dubya’s approval ratings. :p
I wish to subscribe to this fine offering from our Chinese comrades in the great revolutionary struggle against the western pig-dog opressors! Where is my state-sanctioned download URL??
lmfao
Now I want to be a commie just like everyone else!
Well, there went the vaunted Chinese MMO market. Like a bird in the jet engine. Nothing but red.
C’mon! This is a story from The Onion, right? Right?
Perfect. We know have a continuum with this at one end and who knows what on the other to show politics in games. Nice find Chairman Lum.
In the unlikely event this ever takes off in the West, will we see eBay flooded with offers from Chinese “game workshops” to sew all the socks needed to level your toon?
Man Lum, you have the BEST links
“The longer you grind, the more you look like everyone else.”
So it’s just like the endgame in World of Warcraft?
The mind boggles. Really it does.
Yet, perhaps this is a step in the right direction. Its certainly a fresh new take on MMOGs, and the roles they can play in education, social indoctrination, and brainwashing.
This could help usher in such titles as We All Win (the new title from the Socialist Party which teaches how paying your taxes will help rid the world of every ill), J.E.S.U.S. (published by Oral Roberts Ministries, the endgame includes battling the Four Horsemen and Satan himself in first-person hand-to-hand combat), Black Heritage Online (whispers amoung industry insiders indicate that for some time this game was subtitled Kill Whitey), and the new MMOG that PETA has sponsored titled Death to All Humans.
Oh, they’re obviously reacting to my game…
http://www.savethehumans.com/damnedlies/commie_killer/ReturnToTiananmenSquare.htm
We could have avoided this if only Jiabao had called me…now I’m gonna have to create something else…and the duel goes on…
Aaron,
I’m sure this is a bug, but when I scrolled all the way to the left, my student got stuck. He could still fire, but could no longer maneuver. I found this to be amusing, in an ironic, metaphorical way.
I was in the 3rd wave when this happened, if that matters.
So, how will the Chinese gold farm if there is no currency??
Unless they have no trading between players there WILL be a currency. Even if it ends up being balls of string and darning patches.
I wanna play…..NOW!
From the article Scott linked to:
“The plot revolves around Lei Feng, a humble selfless People’s Liberation Army soldier who, the myth goes, spent all his spare time and money helping the needy and serving the Party until tragically dying in an accident in 1962.”
So China wrote an online game about a man who “spent all his spare time and money helping the needy and serving the Party” but, because of China’s new online game law, players can only play for 4 hours at a time. I find this little quirk so humorous. Make a game that is obviously propoganda then limit how long people can play it. “We will indoctrinate you! 4 hours at a time”
One tiniest of ironies: the founder of Shanda Online, the company responsible for this, regularly battles it out with a few other guys for the title of Richest Man in China (he’s a billionaire and Shanda is NASDAQ-traded).
Live in China for a while and this will not seem like such a crazy concept. From a western, especially American perspective it seems very silly, yes. With that said this game is aimed at middle school kids, not the mass market. I did a quick survey of some people here, I live in Shanghai, and everyone chuckled just like most of you did.
Cock socks? If so, count me in. epeen or not, I’m all about the fuzzy socks.
This is clearly a sign for the future. Mel Gibson will move to China and develop a religious mmog, unfortunately not even Mel’s plan will save baby jesus from accidental bugs, flagging baby jesus killable, but at least he will drop a lifetime resurrection stone after disciples complain about the risk versus reward.
Great post Lum, flippin’ hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
I’m definitely dumping my World of Warcraft account for this! I’ve gotten tired of grinding away for my own personal gain. Now I can sign up for a game where my actions benefit the many. Where’s my darning needle? I’m so there!
WHERE IS IT?
Sorry for the caps, really. But i’ve read every newsagency report about this game… and still can’d find it online. Is it restricted to westerners or is it just a hoax no one bothered to confirm?
Me again. From the Shanda web, english version:
Below is a list of the MMORPGs that we operate, with a link to more information about each of these games.
The Legend of Mir II
The World of Legend
The Sign
The Age
Magical Land
RO
D.O.
Dungeons & Dragons Online
So, anyone but this ever cited boy from Guangzhou, has ever seen this game?
Mend socks to crush?
NERF THE TAILORS!!! Clearly, they’re way too powerful in this game.
Does this game exist? If anyone knows, PLEASE e-mail me! I will be eternally grateful.
…and the mail addy is michaeltolstrup@gmail.com
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