He’ll balance the budget AND sacrifice a faun on the new moon.

by Scott Jennings on January 16, 2006

If you live in Minnesota, you finally have someone willing to pick up Jesse Ventura’s mantle for responsible governance. Vote Vampyre World Party 2006! Finally, someone in American politics besides Dick Cheney willing to acknowledge Anakin Skywalker as their political mentor.

My sister has a saying, “Evil Begets Evil!” Well, starting in 2007, it will be the criminals who realize first hand, that there is someone more evil than they are, who cares about the safety and well-being of the innocent!

So if you agree with the potential of evil to safeguard the innocent (admittedly, a concept that really hasn’t been tried outside of Italian horror movies) vote VWP. Do it for the not quite yet fully disemboweled children!

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Aufero January 16, 2006 at 12:01 pm  (Quote)

Reminds me of the “Republicans for Voldemort” bumper stickers from the Goats comic site. Finally, a candidate with no hidden agenda!

=j January 16, 2006 at 12:55 pm  (Quote)

Why choose the lesser evil?

Vote Cthuhu

Boanerges January 16, 2006 at 2:23 pm  (Quote)

He’s now a true blue politician in the vein of such politicians like George McGovern, Walter Mondale, Ross Perot and Howard “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH” Dean. I think he’s gonna promise a dead goat for every household and a +9 dagger in every hand.

I’d vote for him for President in 2008 but his site is entitled “Page Title”. I am biased against people too lazy to fix their HTML.

internetjack January 16, 2006 at 4:09 pm  (Quote)

“I will fight to make dealers serve life in prison, or better
yet, Impalement.”

Sweet.

internetjack January 16, 2006 at 4:22 pm  (Quote)

Dang, the more I read that site, the more I laugh.

He’s a pro-wrestling vampire nascar fan(and soon to be driver!)…

Now all Minnesota needs is for a furry to run against him.

internetjack January 16, 2006 at 4:31 pm  (Quote)

Sorry for the spam Lum, but I had to share this gem:

“Though I do not regret sleeping with her, in 1996 I found that she was my half-sister who I hadn’t seen since 1970.”

So, incestous, wrestling, vampire, race-car driver…

Damn, I’d vote for him just so I could tell people I did. That is one of the funnier sites I’ve seen in a while.

D_0ne January 16, 2006 at 6:40 pm  (Quote)

People should have to win an eating contest to get on the ballot.

Not just any eating contest but one from “Fear Factor”, yeah that ‘d be cool.

FF: How bad do you want to be on the Democratic Ticket John?

John: Pretty bad! I love America!

FF: Do you love America enough to eat twelve Goat Testicles and wash it down with a half gallon of Horse Urine!

Heartless_ January 16, 2006 at 11:03 pm  (Quote)

+9 dagger.

/vote

What do you mean I can’t vote via the internet yet?

WTF this is AMERICA…

blah.

Wendelius January 17, 2006 at 10:28 am  (Quote)

Ah but:

“Like Robin Hood, I will take from the rich, and help the poor.” (See question on taxation)

So golden hearted (or demagogue, you decide :) ) incestous, wrestling, vampire, race-car driver\’e2\’80\’a6

DarkDryad January 17, 2006 at 10:32 am  (Quote)

He’s what we refer to in the professional circles as aaaaaa nutbag.

Bitti January 18, 2006 at 8:59 am  (Quote)

Faun?

scottj January 18, 2006 at 9:36 am  (Quote)
Elistor January 18, 2006 at 8:56 pm  (Quote)

And now there persecuting his witch wife. http://www.kstp.com/article/stories/s13470.html

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