COMMENTS ON OSI vs ST. TWISTER [Author: lum]

As reported by GameDaily.com:

OSI: Electronic Arts and Origin Systems, Inc. have stated in regards to taking legal action against the Dr TwisTer Network that it has “made several demands in connection with the unauthorized disclosure of Ultima Online 2.” According to David Swofford of OSI, “compliance with those demands of that site will determine whether Electronic Arts institutes any legal proceeding.” Swofford also added, “The site did post confidential and proprietary information on UO 2 and that this information was disclosed unlawfully and without Electronic Arts or Origin’s authorization.”

Dr. TwisTer: I’ve done nothing wrong here. I have not posted anything that is not true. I have received the information which someone told me was official UO 2 information. I’m going to cooperate for the time being until this situation is rectified.

However, we at lum.xrgaming.net, the ONLY news source you need on UO, EQ, East Timor, Kosovo, and Buffy’s new college career, have infiltrated the holding cell in the Rampart district of Los Angeles, where Dr. Twister is currently being held. Here’s what we heard before being taken away…

TWISTER: Yo, like, Jojo, is it all set?
JOJO: Hell yeah, it’s ON baybee!
HUGGY BEAR: Guys, shut the hell up – if anyone gets wind of this we all get busted for talking after lights out and I dont want no more solitary shit
PACO: All yous guys shut up!
TWISTER: Hey, it’z cool – me and Jojo got it all covered – you GOTTA know me, man, I’m the one who got busted for busting open Origin’s shit on that UO tip – bugs and shit – you know, sploitz!
RYU: Hell yea, he did – so you shut the hell up punks, he rox and u sux! Peace out!
HUGGY BEAR: What the fuck is this “Peace out” shit?
DOZER: Man, I’ve had about enough of these weird ass bitches…
(RYU is dragged into a corner. Low moans and high pitched squeaks are heard throughout the rest of the conversation.)
PACO: So what? I been in here for 20 years on that goddamn drunk driving thing, I dont know what no UO is – what the fuck’s a sploitz, anyway? Is that some damn Jewish thing?
HUGGY BEAR: What the fuck is all this bugs and shit? You jackasses should have been deloused when you got here, dig?
TWISTER: Well, here’s the plan – if you die and then turn into a ghost, you can walk through the door and then I can res you and you will be free to escape but then you got to res all of us. But before you do that you got to overload your pockets with stuff and pile up all your cells with stuff so we can dupe it all. This way when I res you on the other side of the door we will have plenty of smokes and cash for our return to the real world. I need cash or Fool will kick me in the nads.
HUGGY BEAR: Whats this guy talkin bout – ressin and shit – oh wait – OMG you’re *Dr Twister*? Shit, homes, why didn’t you SAY so? Aight, I help you lets get the freak on outta here.
PACO: I dunno what weed you weirdo anglo shits be smokin – but if it gets me out of here, I’ll help. 20 years for drunk driving is just wrong, man.
TWISTER: OK, but when you get out though you got to agree to keep my new site updated. Don’t worry, its easy, any 2 year old can do it.
(RYU squeaks from the corner.)
PACO: Let’s go, man, you’re starting to scare me.

(GUARD teleports in.)

GUARD: Thou shalt regret thine actions. swine!

HUGGY BEAR: I don’t know these fools.

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